Please bare with me as this is a long post.

Me (27F) and my fiancé (32M), are getting married next year in the spring. We sent out invites 2 weeks ago to friends and family.

One rule we have for our wedding is that it will be child free. We are going to have drinking games and other games that are not suitable for children. And not only that, my partner and I both agree that we feel children would be disruptive so we came to the decision to keep it child free.

One particular friend I have has two children both under the age of 7. She sent me a long text message, and to summarize it, it basically said that “I knew her financial situation and that I know she can’t afford a baby sitter and now she can’t come to the wedding because of it being child free”

I was honestly shocked at first because of how entitled it sounded, so I replied.

I told her that I completely understood if she couldn’t find a solution to the problem, but we would definitely miss her and could get together eventually to hang out as a way to fix the missed time. I also told her that I would be okay if her husband did not attend. Neither me or my fiancé are particularly close with him, so i thought, hey maybe that could work. We would miss him too but it would be okay and he could stay home with the kids.

She sent me a message back and this one I am going to paste below

Im sorry but are you being fucking serious rn? You know my financial situation and you know for a fact I can’t even afford my groceries. I have to sell my fucking food stamps to pay bills. you think I can serious afford a babysitter? You’re crazy if you think that. I don’t even want to come to your wedding you inconsiderate bitch.

I didn’t even reply to this one because I was honestly just baffled. She sent that last one yesterday and it’s been on read for 19 hours.

AITA? Am I just being inconsiderate? Should I just pay for a babysitter? Idk

Hi. I've been making bread for about 4 years now and my family is most fond of my focaccia loaf. It's easy to make, airy, and customizable so I normally make 2-4 loaves a month. On top of that every Sunday I make sandwich bread for the week. In the beginning before I could work, my mom would buy the cheapest bread flour which did the job but I eventually upgraded to better flour once I started working after school. It's kinda expensive but given that I didn't have any bills to pay back then I could easily afford it (I pay bills now). And because it was basically my flour (no one else used it and I paid for it), I kept it in the higher cabinets so it wouldn't get mixed in with the all purpose flour container that my mom kept stocked.

That was until this week when I had to move it because our cat somehow broke the cabinet door and my dad needed the cabinet empty to fix said door. I left it on the counter and when I came back from classes the bag was gone. I asked my mom about it and she said that she put the opened bag of flour into the big container of flour.. The all purpose flour. I was pretty pissed off because I had just bought that bag the other week and only used about 2 cups of it! I thought about possibly scooping out the bread flour from the container but 1. I don't know where the all purpose flour stops and the bread flour begins, and 2. My mom will pour the older flour into a bowl, put the newer flour into the bottom of the container, and then add in the older flour on top so it's pretty difficult to separate the two now.

I was pretty upset because my 10 lbs of flour is now gone. Sure it's only $12 but I'm not in high school anymore, I'm paying my own college tuition, trying to save up for my own car, and looking to save up some money to live with my friend next school year so I've been trying to be careful with every penny. At first I was calm and told my mom that I can't go out and spend $12 on flour again. So either she pays for my new bag or I don't make anymore fresh bread. And that includes the weekly sandwich bread. She told me to just use what's in the jar but I can't, especially for the focaccia. Every time I tried it with all purpose it was too dense. It's edible yeah, but given how long it takes to make bread, I don't want the bread I make to be that dense. Plus I'd have to adjust my recipes to an ingredient I haven't used in years. I also don't just make bread for my family. My friend's birthday is coming up and I wanted to surprise her with a charcuterie board made of focaccia so I need the good flour.

Based on where I'm posting, you all can understand that my mom is upset and thinks I'm being unreasonable. Which maybe I am.. She sees nothing wrong with me using regular flour but it's not just about the crumb density, it's the fact that something I bought for myself was ruined so I refuse to go ahead with the service that I normally provide until I am compensated! I'm so sorry this feels so dumb but I just can't be spending $24 on flour in one month.

EDIT: Hi it keeps coming up a lot so I wanna clarify. While I do live with my parents, I PAY RENT, UTILITIES, AND GROCERIES EVERY MONTH.

I went to a family-friendly brewery with some friends this past weekend. There was a group of adults sitting near us with several young children, probably between 3 and 10 years old.

As the afternoon went on, one of the mothers became noticeably intoxicated. She was stumbling, being extremely loud, and repeatedly snapping at her kids.

Later, one of her kids accidentally knocked over my friend's drink. My friend politely asked her to keep an eye on them, and she snapped, "It's a family-friendly brewery. If you don't like kids, go somewhere else." We didn't engage.

About 30 minutes later, I noticed her gathering her belongings and grabbing her car keys. One of her friends offered to drive her and the kids home, but she refused, insisting she was perfectly fine. Someone else suggested an Uber, which she also refused. I kept my eye on them because I was getting pretty concerned.

I considered notifying an employee, but the brewery was absolutely slammed, and I was worried she would leave before anyone could intervene.

So I cautiously approached her and politely asked, "I'm sorry, but are you planning on driving?"

She immediately became aggressive, asking, "Who the fuck are you" I calmly explained that I was concerned because she appeared intoxicated and had young children with her.

She completely lost it. She started screaming, calling me a crazy bitch, and accusing me of harassing her family. She was making such a massive scene that practically everyone at the brewery was staring.

Employees came over multiple times and repeatedly asked if they needed to call the police because she wouldn't calm down. Her kids were standing there watching everything, and her oldest looked absolutely mortified.

She continued refusing rides and insisting she could drive until one of her friends finally convinced her to hand over her keys.

I never raised my voice or insulted her, but I felt terrible that her children had to witness the entire situation.

My friends were divided afterward. Two said I did the right thing, while another said I should've gotten an employee instead of confronting her, especially with her kids present.

I understand that perspective, but I genuinely thought she was about to drive away, and I didn't want to risk waiting.

AITAH for confronting her directly instead of getting an employee involved, even though it caused a massive scene in front of her children?

My brother has spent the last 3 Christmases with his wife's family. Even though we miss him on the day, as a family we've been understanding of this because his wife's family don't all live in the same place, so they can't see them all on the same Christmas, unlike our side of the family, who all live relatively close to each other and can therefore see each other every Christmas.

I hosted Christmas at my house last year and offered to do so again this year, since no-one else in the family has the space or cash to host a big group of people all together. The guest list includes my mother and my in-laws - aka my children's grandparents. I invited my brother to join us this year, as it appeared that they wouldn't be away and didn't have any other plans.

Then he messaged me saying his wife's bio mother (who lives far away) will be in town over Christmas and staying with the wife's sister. Would it be OK if the mother, the sister and the sister's boyfriend joined us for Christmas lunch, because the mother doesn't see much of her grandchild (my brother's first child, who is a baby) and doesn't want to miss Christmas day with him.

I'm not comfortable with this idea. My brother's in-laws are not great at talking to people outside of their circle and they don't know my in-laws at all. If I invite them, my brother will have to "babysit" them through the event because they are unlikely to talk to anyone else. Plus, if the reason for them coming is that grandma doesn't want to miss out on the baby, then odds are none of the rest of the family (our own mother included) will get much time with him either.

When I told my brother I wasn't hosting his in-laws, he told me that he would then also not be attending Christmas, as he can't deny his mother-in-law the afternoon with her grandchild. He is now blaming me for our family not seeing each other on Christmas.

I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. First of all, I would never dream of inviting three people to an event that I am not hosting, and second of all, to then turn around and say "well if they're not coming, I'm not coming" seems absolutely crazy to me.

I have told him multiple times that Christmas is really just lunch and opening presents, maybe 4 hours of the day. He can spend the whole morning and the rest of the day after lunch with his in-laws; nobody expects him to be here all day. Also, the mother-in-law will be staying up the road from him, so she will see her grandchild multiple days leading up to Christmas and multiple days thereafter. None of this makes a difference; if all five of them can't come, then none of them will come. Those are his terms.

I want to be inclusive and to make sure everyone has a great Christmas, but is it so terrible to also just want to spend time with my brother on Christmas day, without his in-laws in the picture, for the first time in 4 years? Should I just have rolled over for the sake of the family being together?

For years my husband has said he couldn't bring kid to his barber when having his hair cut as drop ins back to back weren't feasible at the barber and so 90% of child haircuts over the years has been me taking them.

Now the barber has introduced a booking system and there is an adult and child booking option. When I told me husband this he said it adds too much time to his hair cut booking and thinks I'm the asshole for expecting him to take child with him when he has his hair cut.

It's a half hour round trip to the barber just for me to get there, most of the parenting responsibilities already fall on me and I have to book off time off work to be able to get my own hair cut twice a year! AITA for expecting my husband to occasionally take our child with him when he goes to the barber as a small way of giving me a break?

**EDIT** thank you all for your messages. I've showed the post to my husband who states I'm wilfully misunderstanding what he said to me and he doesn't care about the opinion of strangers on the internet. Sometimes it's just great to have the opinion of strangers when you don't have the energy to deal with someone! Thanks strangers on the internet ☺️

I needed a third opinion, so I decided to go here so I hope I am doing this right. I am 22 years old and recently went out with family for a big fall dinner. I decided to bring my partner (23 years old, a masc non-binary). Well, the main issues seem to be what I wore. I have always liked wearing more than just a shirt and jeans for dinners, I also love fall (and Halloween) so I decided to wear something spookier for the season. I even went a little bit more simpler knowing that I was going to a haunted house afterward with most the people there. Now, nothing was revealing, the most revealing part was maybe the ripped jeans I was wearing. I even had a painted jacket on top.
Dinner seemed to go well, my grandmother just seemed quiet. However, that is normal for her, she is usually too busy playing candy crush. We parted ways and I noticed she refused to say anything to my partner and I. THAT is odd for her.
The haunted house was just as good, and everyone seemed to love meeting my partner. My partner was even invited to the next family dinner (a really big thing in my family).
Well, I get home and my mother has a conversation with me, most notably how I need to 'mellow out' (Yes, I still live with my mother, she lives about an hour away from the college I go to and rent is expensive for a college student). I asked what she meant and she points out how much me and my partner wore (Me wearing jeans, a shirt, a jacket, a few rings and a purse while my partner a skirt, some more rings, a beanie, a jacket and shirt). I am confused and ask what that means. She then informs me that my grandmother had messaged her about how nobody liked what me and my partner wore and how it was 'devil like'. Now, my mother clarifies that she likes what I wore but she would like me to dress down more because she doesn't want to argue with my grandmother. I tell her that I won't mellow myself out for a woman who smokes enough to kill a baby and owns fifty moomoos. She than calls me rude for making her choice between her daughter and mother. I inform her I never did. She starts yelling and crying how I am 22, I need to grow up. I then asked what my partner had to do with it. My mother than went silent before storming off to her room.
I woke up the next morning to my phone full of missed calls from my brother, some cousins, my mother and a few from my grandparents. I even had a few missed texts talking about how I need to apologize for this mess. I tell them that I refuse to apologize for what I wore but I would for yelling at mother. Ever since then, things have been tense and I have family calling me/texting me daily to remind me to apologize to my grandmother for what I wore because its rude not to. So, AITA for refusing to?

I have a coworker who I'm somewhat close with. My wife gave birth to our beautiful little girl one year ago. While she was still pregnant we had my coworker and his wife over for dinner and discussed everything including what we're naming our daughter and what the name symbolizes. It symbolizes "God's gift" because my wife had fertility problems. I discussed my baby with said coworker many times over the last year. This coworker and his wife had a miscarriage years ago and thankfully she just found out they're having another baby and it's a girl. Today I just found out from a different coworker that they are naming her the same as ours. The reason they gave for the name? The exact same as ours. My friend asked him if he knew that was my baby's name and he claims to have forgotten or didn't know. I'm kind of annoyed and feel pretty weird about it. My wife says to not bring it up with him and let it go. AITA?

I just started at this new job on 10/14. They dont allow phones in the building unless you have a dr note and a phone release form. If you dont have them, you will be turned around while going through security.

My schedule is typically 4:30am-8:30am. Yesterday for some reason I was scheduled 4:30am - break from 10 to 11- 4:30pm. So from 11 am on, I was with a different team than I usually am.

Also, a detail that will be important later: im not super young, and im not new to be employed. Im on the tail end of my 30s and I've been working since I was 14.​

I wear a continuous glucose monitor, and have an insulin pump which is controlled from my phone. So I have my phone on me, and my dr note and phone release are always in my bag, along with snacks. Which is never more than 15 feet from me.

Around 2 I started feeling a little off like my sugar was low. I go over by where my bag is and check my sugar. 66. Oop.

I get out one of my snacks and as im opening it this old lady approaches me. No fuck you, whaddya need, or nothing.

Her: you know youre being watched right?

Me: uh. Hi. Yeah.

Her : we aren't allowed to have our phones at work.

Me: I have medical permission for my glucose monitor. Im low right now so if you could please leave me to eating.

Her: well you need to take your phone out to your car. And stop eating while im speaking to you

Me: Who are you again i dont think we were introduced?

Her, screaming now: IM THE PERSON TELLING YOU TO PUT THAT PHONE OUT IN YOUR CAR. YOU ARENT ANOVE THE RULES

Me: okay are you the boss or something? I thought (manager) was the boss over here. I have my dr note and release form. So unless there's something else, you can go back to whatever area you were in.

Her, again screaming: DONT YOU HAVE AN ATTITUDE WITH ME LITTLE GIRL.

So I grab my shit and go to the manager. I ecplain to him what just happened and let him know im leaving, because I dont know why I was scheduled 12 hours in the first place especially being part time.

She then approaches us

Her: well since she wants to rat ill come tell on myself ! I sure did tell her to put the phone in her car!

Manager: and you want to leave over that?

Me: bo I want to leave because im already 10 hours in to this shift and im being yelled at by a stranger when I obviously already dont feel too great because my sugars low

Her: you kids need to learn to obey rules and separate from those damn phones!

Me: you old people need to learn to mind your own business

And I took my shit and left.

Now today, im public enemy number 1. Everyone's pissy at me. Everyone's saying i should've just said "okay" and respected her as an elder. I already didnt really even know anyone at the job and now everyone has beef with me.

So AITA?

Editing to add: another manager saw me crying (im a frustration/anger cryer) while clocking out and asked me what happened. She did tell me this lady is just another part timers with the same title as me. Not a manager or anything, and that the manager that was over there is super new and hasn't been in the position for a full month.

For context I am 25f married to 27m and we share a 2 year old girl. My husband does have 2 other kids from a past relationship both 7m (twins) and my BIL (my husbands brother) has two kids 8m and 4f.

My husbands side of the family has always acted a bit off when it comes to me and I am not sure if that stems from the fact that I am not the mother to his first two kids, but I am the only women he has ever proposed to and married.

The time that set me off was when me and my husband went to the zoo with our kids and his brother ended up meeting us there. when they met up with us they had stopped at a little vendor on the way through and paid $2 each for these little play wands. they got one for both of their kids along with both of my step kids, they however, did not get one for my daughter that I share with my husband. I was furious because this is not the only time that my daughter would get left out from things like this, they never buy her gifts for her birthday or christmas which is honestly no problem except for the fact that he does buy my step kids gifts for those occasions.

I told my husband after that, that I wanted no contact with them and my daughter because I found it extremely rude for them to treat her this way and I did not want her to grow up and see that she was treated differently.

Well come to present time and my BIL got into a bad car accident, he's been in the hospital a few days and my husband wants to go see him with me and our daughter and I told him, he can go but we absolutely would not be going. This has started a huge argument between us because that is my husbands only sibling and he wants to show him that he is cared for and loved and whatnot.

So AITAH for not bringing my daughter to see her "uncle".

A coworker of mine, we’ll call her Jane, moved to another state about a year ago and left our department. Recently, she reached out to my current coworkers and myself that she would be visiting. “Amy”, one of my coworkers whom I’ve known for 6 years, is in a relationship with “Tim”, who started working with us about 1.5 years ago. Amy offers to host a little get together at her house for a reunion.

Some background: When Jane left a year ago, Amy hosted a goodbye get together at her house, so it made sense that she offered again. A year ago, we all split the cost of pizza when we came over and Amy had drinks to offer us and some snacks; I had brought some snacks myself.

This time around, it felt to me that Tim was the honorary cohost, despite the residency technically belonging to Amy. The night before, Amy confirmed me and my boyfriend’s attendance (everyone included in this night knows my bf as well as they know me, if not better) and I asked if we needed to bring anything. She said no, she’d have some drinks and figured we’d get pizza again; that sounded good to me.

Amy lives over a bridge and the tolls are expensive, in addition to the 45minute drive from work to her place. For the day of the get together, I had to hire a babysitter for my elderly, diabetic dog. So between tolls, gas, and babysitting it cost me about $60 to attend this shindig for only a couple of hours (we all work the next day at 8am).

Amy states that, presumably referring to herself and Tim, “we’re going to order pizza” and the rest of us were like that sounds good. No other discussion was had, to my knowledge, no one was even asked what toppings they wanted - I certainly wasn’t. Whatever.

So the pizza shows up, they bought a penne vodka pie and a plain pie, which are fine, but neither of which I would’ve chosen if I had been asked what I wanted. The night goes on, I have 1.5 slices. My boyfriend has 2 (and my other half). Jane, the guest of honor, has 1 and the additional coworker there has 2. Amy and Tim keep the left overs. I had two of the drinks they provided (some no sugar canned margaritas) while we were there and my boyfriend brought his own beer and coincidentally left two behind.

The following day, Tim texts the groupchat and asks us all for $20 EACH for the pizza last night. That means it cost $120 FOR TWO PIES??? We’re in Queens, NY for price context but it’s unfathomable to me that two pies of pizza, DoorDash service, and tip came to $118 (to be specific). Jane had one slice! And all of it was for her!

Me, my boyfriend, and Jane questioned the price and argued that $20 each for two pizza pies is unbelievable, especially when all of us had 1-2 slices each. Maybe it would have been a little different had there been a discussion of where we were ordering from, what kind of toppings we wanted, and the total price before the order was made. My bf ended up sending $30 on our behalf; idk what Jane sent. I guess im just wondering what the internet thinks.

Update: The hosts themselves were included, and so was the guest of honor, in the divvying up of the pizza. Plus, Tim said explicitly that it was $118. Jane, was one of the people who spoke up about not wanting to pay $20 for her slice.

For people wondering why im petty about the amount of slices people ate is that: if each of the guests ate 2 slices, including Jane who technically only ate 1, that’s 12% (6% for Jane) of the total pizza each (assuming two large pies are 16 slices which is standard) that means that my hosts ate/kept approximately 44% of the food they bought. I am usually all for splitting things equally, but I absolutely think that the amount of food shared plays a huge role in this.

I (M19) have been growing out my hair for 4 years. I love my hair and hate drastic changes, so I haven’t want to cut ANY of it off. I’ve had nightmares about cutting my hair and feeling sad and after waking up I was upset. My hair means A LOT to me. My mom’s been constantly changing her opinion from “your hair is so beautiful don’t cut it” to “cut your hair already you’ll look better, or at least cut off some inches to strengthen it”. We have a coworker(F35) who I’ve been friends with for a while, and she’s also friends with my mom. They’ve been joking around saying “I’ll cut your hair while you aren’t looking”. My coworker, let’s call her Linda, has been telling me to get a haircut. She’s been joking around a lot by grabbing scissors and making a move to cut my hair. She’s has also asked me “if I cut your hair, would you ever speak to me again?” at least 5 times, in which I always responded with “I’d stop talking to you”. A couple hours ago, I was at the shop to use the ethernet to fix something on her kid’s laptop. As I was standing over the laptop on the workbench, she took a pair of scissors and put it around my hair, as she often does. At that point I was focused on the laptop and didn’t think she’d cut my hair as she’s so often just joking. “ SHE CUT YOUR HAIR!” her kids yelled. I thought they were joking, I didn’t hear or feel anything. I turned around and Linda was holding 3 inches of my hair. My heart fell to my ass. I got my hair, put it in my pocket, and turned back to the laptop. She tried talking to me but I ignored her. Her kids(6 & 9)who really like me, were confused. They said “why aren’t you talking to her?”. Linda asked about what she did, the kids defended me and said “You shouldn’t have done it, he likes his hair, everyone is different, you can’t force him to have short hair”. After about 5 minutes of trying on the laptop, I gave up, told my brother who was waiting for me: “wanna go?”, he said yes, so I left the laptop and got in my car. The kids followed me, saying “where are you going aren’t we going to play?” I calmy told them “I have to go home”. Linda stood in front of my car door, not letting me close it, and asked “are you really mad at me for that?” I didn’t answer. I nudged the door a bit and Linda stepped aside, letting me shut it. Now I’m home. Linda has been DMing me saying that she was sorry and that she did it as a joke. I haven’t been responding. My mother told me that Linda has been messaging her, that she and the kids are crying, that the kids are saying that they’ll never talk to her again, that her husband got upset with her, and that the kids are writing me a letter in case I don’t go to their house again. My mom is saying that I’m wrong for not responding and leaving her family and kids a mess over hair. I don’t feel comfortable talking to her as I am really stubborn and she also hurt me. Am I the asshole for letting her family turn against her as a result of my silence towards her?

My wife(35) and I(32) are looking after her friends' son(13) because they are in prison right now(fraud). The kid likes reading but my wife thinks he took too long to finish Heart of Darkness (12 days). She grew up in the US, being a dual citizen, and said she and her friends studied the book. She told me she and her friends finished reading it for the first time much quicker before starting to study and annotate the text. She said we should make him read more for practice. I pointed out that she and her friends speak English as their first language, unlike him, and that expecting him to finish as quickly is just unrealistic. She was upset at the last part.

I have an elderly relative who spends all day listening to rage bait AI stories on youtube. She used to enjoy reading, which is probably something which requires too much effort now, but the rage bait stories seem less than emotionally healthy. We've tried to tell her that the stories are written by robots, but she doesn't care.

WIBTA if I logged into her account and tried to get her algorithm to show her her old interests and no AI stories?

AITAH?

So for context. My ex-husband has a regular full-time civilian job. He is a reservist in the military. He suddenly gave me a two week notice that he was taking leave from his job and going on a year long deployment over seas. We are 50/50 coparents and don’t pay each other anything. Now that my child is in my full time care, I am asking for child support. He asked me to explain how my expenses have gone up enough to warrant child support. Which I’ve tried to do over several different emails. He is dragging it out and not wanting to agree to anything specifically. The amount I was asking is less than half of what our state calculator says he should pay. He’s already been gone for a month.

I am planning to file with the state for child support now instead of continuing to try to negotiate a “mutually agreed” amount. I also won’t agree to my child visiting him in another country for two full months this summer. I don’t want to be away from my child that long. I have agreed to one month. Am I the asshole for simply giving up on mutually agreeing and filing for child support with the state.?

My mother is chronically ill, and I'm struggling with a situation involving her, my brother (37M), and me (34F).

My dad passed away unexpectedly in May. We were very close, and his death has been incredibly difficult for me. In July, my mother was hospitalized for three months and is now in rehab. Three weeks into her hospital stay, I fell and seriously injured my back. I can no longer walk unassisted. I use a walker, and my wheelchair is still pending insurance approval. I need help with my own daily activities, and my husband is currently on FMLA from work to care for me.

Something that hurt me deeply was that my mother never came inside my home to comfort me after my dad died. She made a few drive-bys with Chick-fil-A, which I appreciated, but I needed more from her. I needed my mother emotionally, especially after losing my father.

Unfortunately, this is a recurring theme in my family. I feel like I'm treated as though I'm a robot who can keep giving indefinitely, regardless of what I'm going through. Everyone continues to take from my cup without pouring anything back into it.

Three years ago, my mother was hospitalized for two months. When she was discharged, she needed round-the-clock care. My husband and I spent the next eight months going back and forth between our home and hers to care for her. It put a lot of strain on our own lives, but we made it work because she needed us. During those eight months, my brother came over to help exactly once. My brother currently lives with my mother. Despite living with her, he visited her only three or four times during her recent three-month hospitalization. He has also been driving her car to work and wherever else he needs to go.

While my mother was in the hospital, the power went out at her house, and my brother asked to stay with me. I declined because he has a history of being disrespectful toward me. When I called out his behavior, he called me names, and we haven't spoken since.

Now, my mother wants to be discharged from rehab to MY house. She has a five-bedroom, three-story home of her own that she could potentially return to. I believe she could safely return there, but doing so would mean my brother would have to take on more responsibility while continuing to work. I suspect she would rather stay with me because she knows I'm dependable and will find a way to make things work. If she comes to my house, my husband and I become responsible for her care again.

The difficult part is that my mother acknowledges what I'm going through, but her needs always seem to take priority because she's sick and she's my mother.
I understand that her illness is serious. I'm not saying she doesn't deserve care, and I'm not trying to punish her for being sick. But my needs matter, too. I feel like my recovery, my grief, and my well-being are always expected to come second.

I am moving out of my apartment earlier than my lease ends, so I was going to take my name off the power bill. For clarification, I have three roommates and we venmo each other for utilities since the landlords don’t do it themselves. I have power and my other roommate cover internet (the third just pays us two back).

Now, two of the three of us are moving out early because we cannot get along with the third roommate (it’s a loonnnggg story). I don’t want to be responsible for the power since I won’t be living in the apartment anymore and Ik the one roommate left likes to crank up the ac to 60 and the bills over the summer while I’m gone will be crazy high. I’ve told her I don’t want to have my name on it since I won’t be living there- she hasn’t rlly responded and there is a stipulation on the lease we can’t just take our names ofd of power accounts.

Not sure if this makes me an asshole for not wanting to pay for her power while she gets to live in the apartment alone and pay 1/3 of the rent :(

We've been friends for a long time and go to the same college. He doesn't have a car and his commute is 2 hours one way. I offered him a ride once during a rain storm and the day after that he just followed me to the parking lot and assumed I'd give him a ride home. I never had heart to say no, so I just kept driving him home everyday for the past two years. I drive an extra 40 km a day and it also adds an hour to my own commute. He never ONCE offered me gas money. Doing some math, I think I probably used at the very least $2,000 just in gas.

Obviously I'm also wrong for not setting my boundaries clearly but over the months, I became more and more resentful. On our commute back from class, my friend asks me to stop by Timmies because he wanted to grab an Ice Capp. I just casually asked him to get me a $2 medium coffee. First thing he does is ask me for the money, I told him I have no cash and just cover for me this one time. He than had the audacity to say "just e transfer me, if I get it by the time I get to the counter, I'll get your coffee." I told him that I have been giving him free rides for the past 2 years and told him how much it had costed me. He responds with "I didn't ask for it tho did I?"

Now I got a little angry so I just told him to get the fuck outta my car and ditched him right there at some random highway rest stop with no public transit. I no longer consider him a friend.

AITA?

I am a 38 year old male. I was at a crowded house party and was sitting on the couch minding my own business. There was no seating room available except on the floor. A spot opened up beside me and she sat down. She says "can you move so my friend can sit here?" Reflexively I can be a people pleaser so I get up and let her friend have the seat.

I have only had one interaction with this woman before at a previous house party where I tried to make casual conversation and she hit me with an "I have a boyfriend" when I was genuinely not interested in that type of interaction.

Would i be the asshole if I had refused to give up the seat to her friend? If it was her I wouldn't have hesitated giving her the seat given she was pregnant. I'm not sure how much of my resentment may be due to our awkward first interaction or whether it was an entitled thing to do. This happened a few months ago and I'm embarrassed to admit that I am still thinking about it.

My nephew turned 16 last week. He’s saving for a used guitar and asked everyone for money instead of presents. My sister suggested we put ours together so he could open one card. I sent her $150 and she said she was adding $50.

At his birthday dinner he opened a card that said “Love, Mom” with $200 inside. I assumed she’d just forgotten to write my name. Then he came over and quietly asked if my present was coming in the mail. He wasn’t being rude. Last year I ordered him something that arrived late. I said, “No, I put $150 in the card your mom gave you.” He said oh, thanked me, and went back to opening his other cards. That was the entire conversation. I didn’t announce it across the table or ask him to say anything to her.

My sister called me afterward and asked why I couldn’t let her have one nice thing. She’s had an expensive month because her car needed repairs. Apparently she’d told him she’d managed to put aside the whole $200 herself. I knew about the car, but I had no idea she’d told him that until she called, so I had no reason to check with her before answering him. She said I could have told him I was taking him out for lunch instead. I probably will take him out, but I wasn’t planning on pretending the money wasn’t from me.

Our mom thinks I should have handled it differently, because now my nephew knows his mom didn’t put in as much as she said she did.

AITA?

I love to give crafts for the holidays especially since I have my own children and money can be tight. I never care if people put them up, keep them or anything. I gave my MIL crafts for years - kids handprints, etc. She told me 3 years ago that she is not interested in my crafts and would like to stop receiving them. It hurt but by all means, I didn't want to be a burden. So the next Christmas, I craft things for my bro and sis in laws (we buy toys for our nieces and nephews) and my MIL keeps making comments that we didn't get them anything, that she felt left out. I explained that she didn't want my crafts so what do you want me to do? And she said "buy something". Well, fast forward to last year and needless to say I crafted something. She was pissed and threw it away and told me "i told you I do not want this crap". Now we are getting close to Christmas, AITAH for thinking about crafting again and not buying.

I (22F) just got engaged to my now fiancé (22M). We’ve been together for 4 years and got engaged in late September. We decided to have an engagement party to celebrate since we’re eloping. We invited both of our family’s and overall it was a great time, but there is a situation with my mom that is really bothering me. We received some gifts from his family. Specially my fiance received a bottle of wine from his dad called “Crush”. His dad gave him this whole speech about remembering that it all started with a crush and to always remember that and enjoy the wine but to remember the message. Later that night when the party was ending my mom came up to my fiancé with a bottle of champagne that we also received and that bottle of wine. She insisted that he let her have that wine because her and her new husband love trying wines together and that she really really wants it. She also stated that she had brought the champagne and since she brought the champagne wanted to take the wine in exchange for it. My fiancé being very non confrontation said yeah I suppose so but was only slightly upset. The thing he didn’t know was I had been personally handed the champagne by my best friend earlier in the night. I was not aware of her taking the wine until the next day and when I told him I was given the champagne by my best friend he was also upset. I have a pretty rough history with my mom because she’s notoriously a liar and problematic so her even being there was a lot for me. He told me that about it day because he didn’t want me any more stressed then I had already been that night. I called her and asked if she had taken a gift from our engagement party. She said my fiance said it was fine and that she didn’t know it was a gift. I sent her a photo of the champagne and ask if it was from her and she said no. I’ve confronted her about saying that and she claims it’s not true. I really don’t believe her given her past. She keeps asking who told me that but my fiancé didn’t want me saying anything in the first place because he didn’t want my mom to dislike him for saying something to me. Am I the asshole for being upset with her?

Backstory: I’m only speaking to my mother now because after three years of not speaking to her she asked me to be her maid of honor at her wedding in mid September. I declined but accept being part of the wedding party because I felt guilty for declining maid of honor. We have been sort of talking since because I feel obligated.

Context: My mom lives out of state, and my sister lives in the state next to mine. My mom is staying at my apartment for a family wedding, while my sister is renting a car and driving in with her boyfriend. They’re staying at a hotel nearby the wedding venue.

I have an extremely contentious relationship with both my mom and my sister. They don’t always get along with each other, either, and my sister and I barely keep in touch.

The wedding venue is about an hour away from my apartment. It’s also open to the public, so parking is extremely limited. I drove my mom and myself to the venue and eventually managed to find a parking spot. By the time cocktail hour started, I was finally settled in and ready to relax.

Then my sister called my mom. Apparently, she and her boyfriend didn’t want to drive to the venue because they planned on drinking. I’m not sure if they didn’t want to pay for an Uber or what their reasoning was, but my mom immediately assumed I would go pick them up.

I was tired and had absolutely no interest in making another trip. For context, I commute an hour and 20 minutes each way to work Monday through Friday, and my days are long. I just wanted to enjoy the wedding.

I told my mom that my sister and her boyfriend could take an Uber. My mom immediately got nasty with me and started arguing. She then told me to give her my car keys so she could go pick them up herself. I refused for several reasons. First, parking was already extremely difficult, and I wasn’t about to give up my spot and risk not finding another one. Second, I found it pretty presumptuous that she expected to use my car when it’s not something she would necessarily reciprocate. But ultimately, it’s my car, and I wasn’t comfortable handing over my keys.

My position was simple: if my sister and her boyfriend wanted to drink, they could arrange their own transportation. I didn’t see why their decision should become my responsibility.

My mom then started calling me names and being incredibly nasty, seemingly determined to ruin my evening. In the end, she offered to pay for my sister’s Uber herself.

What bothers me most is the entitlement. My sister and I barely have a relationship, yet somehow I’m expected to drop what I’m doing and inconvenience myself to make her life easier. My mom also seems to think she can volunteer my time, my car, and my energy without even asking me first.

To me, this is a straightforward adult problem with a straightforward solution: if you want to drink, take an Uber. Nobody was stranded, nobody was in an emergency, and there was no reason I needed to leave the wedding.

So, AITA for refusing to pick up my sister and telling my mom that they needed to figure out their own transportation?

FINAL UPDATE: The funeral was beautiful, there was a lot of smiles, laughs, and crying from everyone. I fixed the shoulders so there was nothing showing, I wore leggings underneath and wore my nice boots. I surprisingly got a lot of compliments on my dress, even from my cousin (the funeral was for her dad). I was not expecting or wanting any compliments, but it was nice so I know my outfit was perfectly ok to wear. Thank you everyone for the help, ideas, understanding, and for the criticism. I hope everyone has an amazing day, and I wish everyone the best. And thank you again!!

UPDATE: I showed my mom the dress with the leggings and the sleeves pinned up so you cant see the spaghetti straps, and she said I can wear it. Thank you all for your ideas and help!!

I (19F) am going to a funeral tomorrow. I was told I cannot wear my own dress because its "inappropriate". This black dress is own is the least revealing and tight dress I own. It dosent show any curves, it goes JUST above my knees in the front, the rest goes down below my knees. It is a spaghetti strap and had off the shoulder sleeves that can be pulled up and cover the spaghetti straps. I have already said, I will safety pin them so there is no risk of them falling either. I am still being told no, and that I need to wear a dress my mother got when she was heavily overweight. I myself used to be overweight, I still struggle with that every day. This dress makes me look like im back at that weight and I feel disgusted wearing it. It also looks like a kind of night dress my grandmother wears to bed. The dress they want me to wear is also severely see through. Im going to this funeral and will be surrounded by people who used to/still do actively make comments about my weight even after ive gotten to a healthy weight for my age and height. And I know people will say "your going to a funerl dress appropriate", the thing is, my dress is more appropriate than this one. As well as, if my uncle (who the funeral is for) ever saw me in this dress, he would laugh, and have his daughters give me different clothes to wear. Because he didn't believe in people wearing something that makes them uncomfortable. He was also the funniest person ever, and would laugh in my parents face for this dress. So, AITA for not wanting to wear the dress im told I need to wear?

EDIT: My dress will not be showing the spaghetti straps. The dress is also very flowly and not form fitting at any spots, the top also goes over my color bones, the back is very long, and the front is just barely above my knees. I am asking if i can wear a shawl or scarf over my arms, and leggings underneath my dress.

EDIT 2: This is a casual outfit funeral. I was told i need to wear a dress, so I said I would wear the one I own, and I was met with being told i need to wear my moms old dress. (She dosent even wear this dress because she has said herself it makes her think back to when she was also overweight)

I’m 20M and my brother is 17M. He asked me to borrow $40 because he wanted to go out with his friends.

I told him I could give him $20, but I wanted the other $20 back because I’m trying to save money. He said that was fine.

The next day, he asked me for another $20. I asked him what happened to the first $20, and he said he spent it. I reminded him that he still owed me the original $20.

He got annoyed and said, “Bro, it’s literally $20. You act like I owe you hundreds.”

I told him that wasn't really the point. If I lend someone money, I expect them to pay me back, especially when they already agreed to.

He then asked me for another $30 because apparently his friends were going out again that night. I said no.

He called me selfish and said I have a job and “plenty of money,” while he doesn't.

I told him having a job doesn't mean I'm obligated to fund his plans, especially when he hasn't paid me back for the first time.

Now my mom thinks I should just give him the money because we're brothers and it's not that serious.

I feel bad because I don't mind helping him when he actually needs something, but going out with his friends isn't exactly an emergency.

I (F30) have been with my boyfriend (M32) since I was 18. Six of those years were long-distance — him in France, me in North Africa. Our civil wedding is next week; married, I'll be able to apply for my visa to join him.

The latest fight is about a dress and a ring. I know how that sounds — but I'm not upset about just those anymore.

The dress. I can't order from abroad, so he agreed to order my wedding dress; I'd pay him back. I reminded him three nights straight; each time he asked me to resend the links, promising to order "tomorrow." Weeks later: nothing — my links were "too long and complicated." Delivery overlapped his flight home. When I got upset, he blamed me for sending "too long and complicated" links.

The ring. On his own, he showed me a €900 diamond ring he wanted to buy. I was happy — though I didn't like the shape, so I sent him one I liked: pictures and a link (€1,200, with the option to downsize the stone). A week after the dress argument, I asked about it, and he told me angrily I'd get "a regular ring like everyone else" (€450, moissanite).

A few days later, he said it was temporary — we'd pick the real one in France; he was "afraid I wouldn't like his pick." I agreed. Then: "I'm not in the mood anymore" — his friends advised against diamonds, and I was supposedly throwing our future away over a ring.

Days later, I called again: his parents bought him a house, he wants to repay them with a car (they're 80), and his savings won't cover car, wedding, ring and honeymoon. He "wouldn't have suggested a diamond" if he'd done the math earlier. He asked me to save for the wedding. I was already saving for the dress, hair, makeup. His solution: rewear my €70 civil-wedding dress, do my own makeup. I've waited 12 years for this day. I work in a call center; he makes 7x my salary.

Had he calmly said it wasn't in his budget, I'd have understood. What hurt: changing the plan without discussion, then making me feel shallow for caring.

AITA for getting upset about these things?

TL;DR: He promised a diamond ring and a honeymoon in Bali. Weeks before our civil wedding, he delayed my wedding clothes, downgraded the ring to a €450 moissanite "like everyone else," and got angry when I was hurt. AITA for getting upset over a ring and a dress?