I went to a family-friendly brewery with some friends this past weekend. There was a group of adults sitting near us with several young children, probably between 3 and 10 years old.

As the afternoon went on, one of the mothers became noticeably intoxicated. She was stumbling, being extremely loud, and repeatedly snapping at her kids.

Later, one of her kids accidentally knocked over my friend's drink. My friend politely asked her to keep an eye on them, and she snapped, "It's a family-friendly brewery. If you don't like kids, go somewhere else." We didn't engage.

About 30 minutes later, I noticed her gathering her belongings and grabbing her car keys. One of her friends offered to drive her and the kids home, but she refused, insisting she was perfectly fine. Someone else suggested an Uber, which she also refused. I kept my eye on them because I was getting pretty concerned.

I considered notifying an employee, but the brewery was absolutely slammed, and I was worried she would leave before anyone could intervene.

So I cautiously approached her and politely asked, "I'm sorry, but are you planning on driving?"

She immediately became aggressive, asking, "Who the fuck are you" I calmly explained that I was concerned because she appeared intoxicated and had young children with her.

She completely lost it. She started screaming, calling me a crazy bitch, and accusing me of harassing her family. She was making such a massive scene that practically everyone at the brewery was staring.

Employees came over multiple times and repeatedly asked if they needed to call the police because she wouldn't calm down. Her kids were standing there watching everything, and her oldest looked absolutely mortified.

She continued refusing rides and insisting she could drive until one of her friends finally convinced her to hand over her keys.

I never raised my voice or insulted her, but I felt terrible that her children had to witness the entire situation.

My friends were divided afterward. Two said I did the right thing, while another said I should've gotten an employee instead of confronting her, especially with her kids present.

I understand that perspective, but I genuinely thought she was about to drive away, and I didn't want to risk waiting.

AITAH for confronting her directly instead of getting an employee involved, even though it caused a massive scene in front of her children?

I have a coworker who I'm somewhat close with. My wife gave birth to our beautiful little girl one year ago. While she was still pregnant we had my coworker and his wife over for dinner and discussed everything including what we're naming our daughter and what the name symbolizes. It symbolizes "God's gift" because my wife had fertility problems. I discussed my baby with said coworker many times over the last year. This coworker and his wife had a miscarriage years ago and thankfully she just found out they're having another baby and it's a girl. Today I just found out from a different coworker that they are naming her the same as ours. The reason they gave for the name? The exact same as ours. My friend asked him if he knew that was my baby's name and he claims to have forgotten or didn't know. I'm kind of annoyed and feel pretty weird about it. My wife says to not bring it up with him and let it go. AITA?

My brother has spent the last 3 Christmases with his wife's family. Even though we miss him on the day, as a family we've been understanding of this because his wife's family don't all live in the same place, so they can't see them all on the same Christmas, unlike our side of the family, who all live relatively close to each other and can therefore see each other every Christmas.

I hosted Christmas at my house last year and offered to do so again this year, since no-one else in the family has the space or cash to host a big group of people all together. The guest list includes my mother and my in-laws - aka my children's grandparents. I invited my brother to join us this year, as it appeared that they wouldn't be away and didn't have any other plans.

Then he messaged me saying his wife's bio mother (who lives far away) will be in town over Christmas and staying with the wife's sister. Would it be OK if the mother, the sister and the sister's boyfriend joined us for Christmas lunch, because the mother doesn't see much of her grandchild (my brother's first child, who is a baby) and doesn't want to miss Christmas day with him.

I'm not comfortable with this idea. My brother's in-laws are not great at talking to people outside of their circle and they don't know my in-laws at all. If I invite them, my brother will have to "babysit" them through the event because they are unlikely to talk to anyone else. Plus, if the reason for them coming is that grandma doesn't want to miss out on the baby, then odds are none of the rest of the family (our own mother included) will get much time with him either.

When I told my brother I wasn't hosting his in-laws, he told me that he would then also not be attending Christmas, as he can't deny his mother-in-law the afternoon with her grandchild. He is now blaming me for our family not seeing each other on Christmas.

I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. First of all, I would never dream of inviting three people to an event that I am not hosting, and second of all, to then turn around and say "well if they're not coming, I'm not coming" seems absolutely crazy to me.

I have told him multiple times that Christmas is really just lunch and opening presents, maybe 4 hours of the day. He can spend the whole morning and the rest of the day after lunch with his in-laws; nobody expects him to be here all day. Also, the mother-in-law will be staying up the road from him, so she will see her grandchild multiple days leading up to Christmas and multiple days thereafter. None of this makes a difference; if all five of them can't come, then none of them will come. Those are his terms.

I want to be inclusive and to make sure everyone has a great Christmas, but is it so terrible to also just want to spend time with my brother on Christmas day, without his in-laws in the picture, for the first time in 4 years? Should I just have rolled over for the sake of the family being together?

For years my husband has said he couldn't bring kid to his barber when having his hair cut as drop ins back to back weren't feasible at the barber and so 90% of child haircuts over the years has been me taking them.

Now the barber has introduced a booking system and there is an adult and child booking option. When I told me husband this he said it adds too much time to his hair cut booking and thinks I'm the asshole for expecting him to take child with him when he has his hair cut.

It's a half hour round trip to the barber just for me to get there, most of the parenting responsibilities already fall on me and I have to book off time off work to be able to get my own hair cut twice a year! AITA for expecting my husband to occasionally take our child with him when he goes to the barber as a small way of giving me a break?

**EDIT** thank you all for your messages. I've showed the post to my husband who states I'm wilfully misunderstanding what he said to me and he doesn't care about the opinion of strangers on the internet. Sometimes it's just great to have the opinion of strangers when you don't have the energy to deal with someone! Thanks strangers on the internet ☺️

For context I am 25f married to 27m and we share a 2 year old girl. My husband does have 2 other kids from a past relationship both 7m (twins) and my BIL (my husbands brother) has two kids 8m and 4f.

My husbands side of the family has always acted a bit off when it comes to me and I am not sure if that stems from the fact that I am not the mother to his first two kids, but I am the only women he has ever proposed to and married.

The time that set me off was when me and my husband went to the zoo with our kids and his brother ended up meeting us there. when they met up with us they had stopped at a little vendor on the way through and paid $2 each for these little play wands. they got one for both of their kids along with both of my step kids, they however, did not get one for my daughter that I share with my husband. I was furious because this is not the only time that my daughter would get left out from things like this, they never buy her gifts for her birthday or christmas which is honestly no problem except for the fact that he does buy my step kids gifts for those occasions.

I told my husband after that, that I wanted no contact with them and my daughter because I found it extremely rude for them to treat her this way and I did not want her to grow up and see that she was treated differently.

Well come to present time and my BIL got into a bad car accident, he's been in the hospital a few days and my husband wants to go see him with me and our daughter and I told him, he can go but we absolutely would not be going. This has started a huge argument between us because that is my husbands only sibling and he wants to show him that he is cared for and loved and whatnot.

So AITAH for not bringing my daughter to see her "uncle".

Please bare with me as this is a long post.

Me (27F) and my fiancé (32M), are getting married next year in the spring. We sent out invites 2 weeks ago to friends and family.

One rule we have for our wedding is that it will be child free. We are going to have drinking games and other games that are not suitable for children. And not only that, my partner and I both agree that we feel children would be disruptive so we came to the decision to keep it child free.

One particular friend I have has two children both under the age of 7. She sent me a long text message, and to summarize it, it basically said that “I knew her financial situation and that I know she can’t afford a baby sitter and now she can’t come to the wedding because of it being child free”

I was honestly shocked at first because of how entitled it sounded, so I replied.

I told her that I completely understood if she couldn’t find a solution to the problem, but we would definitely miss her and could get together eventually to hang out as a way to fix the missed time. I also told her that I would be okay if her husband did not attend. Neither me or my fiancé are particularly close with him, so i thought, hey maybe that could work. We would miss him too but it would be okay and he could stay home with the kids.

She sent me a message back and this one I am going to paste below

Im sorry but are you being fucking serious rn? You know my financial situation and you know for a fact I can’t even afford my groceries. I have to sell my fucking food stamps to pay bills. you think I can serious afford a babysitter? You’re crazy if you think that. I don’t even want to come to your wedding you inconsiderate bitch.

I didn’t even reply to this one because I was honestly just baffled. She sent that last one yesterday and it’s been on read for 19 hours.

AITA? Am I just being inconsiderate? Should I just pay for a babysitter? Idk

Hi. I've been making bread for about 4 years now and my family is most fond of my focaccia loaf. It's easy to make, airy, and customizable so I normally make 2-4 loaves a month. On top of that every Sunday I make sandwich bread for the week. In the beginning before I could work, my mom would buy the cheapest bread flour which did the job but I eventually upgraded to better flour once I started working after school. It's kinda expensive but given that I didn't have any bills to pay back then I could easily afford it (I pay bills now). And because it was basically my flour (no one else used it and I paid for it), I kept it in the higher cabinets so it wouldn't get mixed in with the all purpose flour container that my mom kept stocked.

That was until this week when I had to move it because our cat somehow broke the cabinet door and my dad needed the cabinet empty to fix said door. I left it on the counter and when I came back from classes the bag was gone. I asked my mom about it and she said that she put the opened bag of flour into the big container of flour.. The all purpose flour. I was pretty pissed off because I had just bought that bag the other week and only used about 2 cups of it! I thought about possibly scooping out the bread flour from the container but 1. I don't know where the all purpose flour stops and the bread flour begins, and 2. My mom will pour the older flour into a bowl, put the newer flour into the bottom of the container, and then add in the older flour on top so it's pretty difficult to separate the two now.

I was pretty upset because my 10 lbs of flour is now gone. Sure it's only $12 but I'm not in high school anymore, I'm paying my own college tuition, trying to save up for my own car, and looking to save up some money to live with my friend next school year so I've been trying to be careful with every penny. At first I was calm and told my mom that I can't go out and spend $12 on flour again. So either she pays for my new bag or I don't make anymore fresh bread. And that includes the weekly sandwich bread. She told me to just use what's in the jar but I can't, especially for the focaccia. Every time I tried it with all purpose it was too dense. It's edible yeah, but given how long it takes to make bread, I don't want the bread I make to be that dense. Plus I'd have to adjust my recipes to an ingredient I haven't used in years. I also don't just make bread for my family. My friend's birthday is coming up and I wanted to surprise her with a charcuterie board made of focaccia so I need the good flour.

Based on where I'm posting, you all can understand that my mom is upset and thinks I'm being unreasonable. Which maybe I am.. She sees nothing wrong with me using regular flour but it's not just about the crumb density, it's the fact that something I bought for myself was ruined so I refuse to go ahead with the service that I normally provide until I am compensated! I'm so sorry this feels so dumb but I just can't be spending $24 on flour in one month.

EDIT: Hi it keeps coming up a lot so I wanna clarify. While I do live with my parents, I PAY RENT, UTILITIES, AND GROCERIES EVERY MONTH.

AITAH?

So for context. My ex-husband has a regular full-time civilian job. He is a reservist in the military. He suddenly gave me a two week notice that he was taking leave from his job and going on a year long deployment over seas. We are 50/50 coparents and don’t pay each other anything. Now that my child is in my full time care, I am asking for child support. He asked me to explain how my expenses have gone up enough to warrant child support. Which I’ve tried to do over several different emails. He is dragging it out and not wanting to agree to anything specifically. The amount I was asking is less than half of what our state calculator says he should pay. He’s already been gone for a month.

I am planning to file with the state for child support now instead of continuing to try to negotiate a “mutually agreed” amount. I also won’t agree to my child visiting him in another country for two full months this summer. I don’t want to be away from my child that long. I have agreed to one month. Am I the asshole for simply giving up on mutually agreeing and filing for child support with the state.?

I love to give crafts for the holidays especially since I have my own children and money can be tight. I never care if people put them up, keep them or anything. I gave my MIL crafts for years - kids handprints, etc. She told me 3 years ago that she is not interested in my crafts and would like to stop receiving them. It hurt but by all means, I didn't want to be a burden. So the next Christmas, I craft things for my bro and sis in laws (we buy toys for our nieces and nephews) and my MIL keeps making comments that we didn't get them anything, that she felt left out. I explained that she didn't want my crafts so what do you want me to do? And she said "buy something". Well, fast forward to last year and needless to say I crafted something. She was pissed and threw it away and told me "i told you I do not want this crap". Now we are getting close to Christmas, AITAH for thinking about crafting again and not buying.

My nephew turned 16 last week. He’s saving for a used guitar and asked everyone for money instead of presents. My sister suggested we put ours together so he could open one card. I sent her $150 and she said she was adding $50.

At his birthday dinner he opened a card that said “Love, Mom” with $200 inside. I assumed she’d just forgotten to write my name. Then he came over and quietly asked if my present was coming in the mail. He wasn’t being rude. Last year I ordered him something that arrived late. I said, “No, I put $150 in the card your mom gave you.” He said oh, thanked me, and went back to opening his other cards. That was the entire conversation. I didn’t announce it across the table or ask him to say anything to her.

My sister called me afterward and asked why I couldn’t let her have one nice thing. She’s had an expensive month because her car needed repairs. Apparently she’d told him she’d managed to put aside the whole $200 herself. I knew about the car, but I had no idea she’d told him that until she called, so I had no reason to check with her before answering him. She said I could have told him I was taking him out for lunch instead. I probably will take him out, but I wasn’t planning on pretending the money wasn’t from me.

Our mom thinks I should have handled it differently, because now my nephew knows his mom didn’t put in as much as she said she did.

AITA?

A friend of mine invited me and some other friends, most of them mutual, to a restaurant, with the occasion of his birthday. It wasn't a super fancy restaurant, it was more like a pub, but that's not very important.

Most of us ordered a burger. It wasn't the type of burger you can't possibly fit in your mouth, it was a normal size for a restaurant burger. I noticed that everyone started to eat it with cutlery. I found it a little weird, but I didn't say anything and proceeded to eat it with my hands.

Everything was nice until we left the restaurant. One of my friends took me to the side and told me that it wasn't ok that I eat the burger with the hand. "We were at a sit-down restaurant, not at a fast food. We were given cutlery for a reason." I told him that the burger was made to be eaten with the hand so I don't consider I did anything wrong. Then my friend told me that I should have eaten with cutlery anyway since everyone else did it, and that I was looking like a savage and out of place within our group.

AITA?

I am a 38 year old male. I was at a crowded house party and was sitting on the couch minding my own business. There was no seating room available except on the floor. A spot opened up beside me and she sat down. She says "can you move so my friend can sit here?" Reflexively I can be a people pleaser so I get up and let her friend have the seat.

I have only had one interaction with this woman before at a previous house party where I tried to make casual conversation and she hit me with an "I have a boyfriend" when I was genuinely not interested in that type of interaction.

Would i be the asshole if I had refused to give up the seat to her friend? If it was her I wouldn't have hesitated giving her the seat given she was pregnant. I'm not sure how much of my resentment may be due to our awkward first interaction or whether it was an entitled thing to do. This happened a few months ago and I'm embarrassed to admit that I am still thinking about it.

AITA for refusing to cover my coworker’s weekend on-call hours after they’ve repeatedly refused to cover mine? My job at a small business requires we all cover the phones every three or four weekends for new jobs that come in.

My coworker has asked me to cover their weekend on-call phone hours multiple times, and I’ve covered for them before. I’ve also asked them to cover for me a few times, but their answer has always been no.

They recently asked me to cover another weekend. I already had plans to be out of town, so I declined and explained that I wouldn’t be available.

They got upset and told me I wasn’t being a team player. They told me that they always cover for me at work and do more than their share. I don't think that's true.

I understand that being on call can interfere with weekend plans, and I’m willing to help sometimes. But I don’t think it’s fair to criticize me for declining when I have plans, especially when they’ve never agreed to cover for me.

AITA for refusing to cover their hours?

I needed a third opinion, so I decided to go here so I hope I am doing this right. I am 22 years old and recently went out with family for a big fall dinner. I decided to bring my partner (23 years old, a masc non-binary). Well, the main issues seem to be what I wore. I have always liked wearing more than just a shirt and jeans for dinners, I also love fall (and Halloween) so I decided to wear something spookier for the season. I even went a little bit more simpler knowing that I was going to a haunted house afterward with most the people there. Now, nothing was revealing, the most revealing part was maybe the ripped jeans I was wearing. I even had a painted jacket on top.
Dinner seemed to go well, my grandmother just seemed quiet. However, that is normal for her, she is usually too busy playing candy crush. We parted ways and I noticed she refused to say anything to my partner and I. THAT is odd for her.
The haunted house was just as good, and everyone seemed to love meeting my partner. My partner was even invited to the next family dinner (a really big thing in my family).
Well, I get home and my mother has a conversation with me, most notably how I need to 'mellow out' (Yes, I still live with my mother, she lives about an hour away from the college I go to and rent is expensive for a college student). I asked what she meant and she points out how much me and my partner wore (Me wearing jeans, a shirt, a jacket, a few rings and a purse while my partner a skirt, some more rings, a beanie, a jacket and shirt). I am confused and ask what that means. She then informs me that my grandmother had messaged her about how nobody liked what me and my partner wore and how it was 'devil like'. Now, my mother clarifies that she likes what I wore but she would like me to dress down more because she doesn't want to argue with my grandmother. I tell her that I won't mellow myself out for a woman who smokes enough to kill a baby and owns fifty moomoos. She than calls me rude for making her choice between her daughter and mother. I inform her I never did. She starts yelling and crying how I am 22, I need to grow up. I then asked what my partner had to do with it. My mother than went silent before storming off to her room.
I woke up the next morning to my phone full of missed calls from my brother, some cousins, my mother and a few from my grandparents. I even had a few missed texts talking about how I need to apologize for this mess. I tell them that I refuse to apologize for what I wore but I would for yelling at mother. Ever since then, things have been tense and I have family calling me/texting me daily to remind me to apologize to my grandmother for what I wore because its rude not to. So, AITA for refusing to?

I just started at this new job on 10/14. They dont allow phones in the building unless you have a dr note and a phone release form. If you dont have them, you will be turned around while going through security.

My schedule is typically 4:30am-8:30am. Yesterday for some reason I was scheduled 4:30am - break from 10 to 11- 4:30pm. So from 11 am on, I was with a different team than I usually am.

Also, a detail that will be important later: im not super young, and im not new to be employed. Im on the tail end of my 30s and I've been working since I was 14.​

I wear a continuous glucose monitor, and have an insulin pump which is controlled from my phone. So I have my phone on me, and my dr note and phone release are always in my bag, along with snacks. Which is never more than 15 feet from me.

Around 2 I started feeling a little off like my sugar was low. I go over by where my bag is and check my sugar. 66. Oop.

I get out one of my snacks and as im opening it this old lady approaches me. No fuck you, whaddya need, or nothing.

Her: you know youre being watched right?

Me: uh. Hi. Yeah.

Her : we aren't allowed to have our phones at work.

Me: I have medical permission for my glucose monitor. Im low right now so if you could please leave me to eating.

Her: well you need to take your phone out to your car. And stop eating while im speaking to you

Me: Who are you again i dont think we were introduced?

Her, screaming now: IM THE PERSON TELLING YOU TO PUT THAT PHONE OUT IN YOUR CAR. YOU ARENT ANOVE THE RULES

Me: okay are you the boss or something? I thought (manager) was the boss over here. I have my dr note and release form. So unless there's something else, you can go back to whatever area you were in.

Her, again screaming: DONT YOU HAVE AN ATTITUDE WITH ME LITTLE GIRL.

So I grab my shit and go to the manager. I ecplain to him what just happened and let him know im leaving, because I dont know why I was scheduled 12 hours in the first place especially being part time.

She then approaches us

Her: well since she wants to rat ill come tell on myself ! I sure did tell her to put the phone in her car!

Manager: and you want to leave over that?

Me: bo I want to leave because im already 10 hours in to this shift and im being yelled at by a stranger when I obviously already dont feel too great because my sugars low

Her: you kids need to learn to obey rules and separate from those damn phones!

Me: you old people need to learn to mind your own business

And I took my shit and left.

Now today, im public enemy number 1. Everyone's pissy at me. Everyone's saying i should've just said "okay" and respected her as an elder. I already didnt really even know anyone at the job and now everyone has beef with me.

So AITA?

Editing to add: another manager saw me crying (im a frustration/anger cryer) while clocking out and asked me what happened. She did tell me this lady is just another part timers with the same title as me. Not a manager or anything, and that the manager that was over there is super new and hasn't been in the position for a full month.

Me (F 56) and my husband (M 62) have been together over 25 years now. He has a daughter who is in her 40s.  My son’s are adults in their 30s. My husband has been active and raising them since they were young when we got together. He has a good relationship with my sons. His daughter was 18 when we got together and married. His daughter never seemed to want a relationship with me (met her <5 and never her husband), which is fine.  My husband has seen his daughter’s husband since their wedding.  He got a call two weeks ago from his daughter that her and her husband wanted to come for a visit. This was the first time he had talked to his daughter in a year.
His relationship with his daughter is complicated. At most, he exchanges text messages with her maybe 3 to 4 times a year that are a couple of lines in length. He might talk to her on the phone once every year year and a half. My husband definitely bears part of the responsibility for their relationship being complicated.

When he first brought up her visit, he told me they would be getting a hotel and just visit for the day. However, after talking to her, he said that she told him that they don’t usually stay anywhere when they go on vacation. I guess they just sleep in their car. He said that he could not live with the idea of her sleeping in her car when we have a guest room.

Lots of complicated backstory too. My husband and I were from a small Midwestern town (live along the coast now).  When my husband and I got together, he had been separated for three years, but only recently divorced.

His ex-wife also lived in the small town.  I have never met her, but was told she did a lot of things to try and make their daughter actively dislike her father.  His ex-wife also did some things using her access to a public venue to hurt one of my children at a very vulnerable time.  I still have questions as to whether or not his daughter was involved with us, but have decided to let it go. His daughter is close with her mother and her mother has lived with her most of the time.

My husband struggles with healthy boundaries. 

So back to his daughter‘s visit. She apparently is coming in on a Saturday and staying until Sunday. She texted “I will be in on Saturday and I do not know when we are leaving“. Maybe just meant that she didn’t know what time she is leaving on Sunday. I am worried because of what I have seen of his families level of intrusiveness. He does not know his daughter, and he definitely does not know her husband. I know the boys stay for longer but we have a relationship with them. I am worried that when the time comes he will not address the fact that they need to leave. I don’t want to be that bad guy but I will be that bad guy who says you need to leave when I’m pushed in a corner. So AITAH if I tell her it’s time to go if my husband doesn’t?  

I am a single parent to 3 girls (12f, 7f, and 5f). My best friend is also a single parent with 2 kids, 8m and 11f. I work from 9-6 and she works from 6:30-3.

We have an arrangement where she drops her kids off at my house at 6am and I get them to school at 8:45. She picks them up at 3:20 and watches all of them at my house until I get home.

I love my niece and nephew but my nephew is extremely stubborn and expects everything to be done for him. His dad was the same way and on his dads weeks his grandma does everything for him.

When his mom started dropping them off in the mornings, he expected me to get his clothes out for him, pack his entire lunch (I pack mains, snacks are on them), and brush his hair. I told him that if my 5 year old can figure it out, so can he.

It’s been 3 weeks and there’s definitely some improvement. His clothes are weather appropriate and he’s packing himself enough food to get through the day but his hair is still looking pretty rough. I don’t fix it for him. He has access to a brush and a mirror and has plenty of time to brush it before we leave and practice after school.

I guess some of the other kids are giving him a hard time over his hair. He told his dad and grandma that I don’t brush his hair and that the other kids at school give him a hard time over it. His dad and grandma have been calling and texting me to say that I am too hard on him and he’s just a little boy. I know my friend tends to baby him to some extent to avoid conflict with her ex so I’m wondering if I am in the wrong for making him figure it out when he’s with me.

We’ll call her Amy. Amy and I met at work nearly 2 decades ago but didn’t get close until about 10 years ago when I moved departments and we worked side by side daily. Since then, I have moved and we are now long-distance besties. Over the course of our friendship, I helped her get out of an abusive (physical and psychological/emotional) marriage and was the only one to stick by her during her divorce. I even testified for her protective orders, custody stuff, and divorce proceedings. She was free and doing well. Then she met a new guy- who we’ll call Steve- about 3 years ago.

I haven’t officially met Steve but have talked to him both with her on the phone and via messenger and initially didn’t mind Steve. He seemed stable and ok. But then we found out he’d been hooking up with his ex wife behind my friend’s back and has a DV charge involving her. He has also been progressively displaying some controlling tendencies, demanding to know where she was, constantly accusing her of lying and cheating with every male colleague she brought up, screaming at her, implying her kids were “not right,” insulting all of her friends, etc. He even weaponizes therapy speak to make her question her reality. It’s all massive, red flags. They’ve broken up repeatedly but somehow he keeps getting back in there.

On this most recent episode, I found out they were back together because she posted them on social media. I kind of knew because she always gets quiet when she gets back with him, but still. I confronted her on it because I was sure she was done after this last break-up involved some truly creepy behavior (showing up uninvited at her event then waltzing into her house uninvited and without knocking, etc). She sent me a text that sounded like she copy and pasted something he said and just tweaked a little bit to sound like her (I know it’s not him because she shares her location with me and the phone is with her at work in a secure area). Basically just claiming to both be flawed people and blah blah blah. I called it bullshit and told her she was an adult and could do whatever she wanted but I would not support it and wanted nothing to do with him. She told me she wanted me to meet him in person and talk it out “at least once before we get married.” I pointed out she was ignoring 3 years of toxic pattern and the wisdom of her friends (I’m not the only one) to stay in this dynamic and told her I would not meet with him, would not attend the wedding, and neither me nor my family would be around him ever because it’s my job to protect me and mine and I don’t ignore my instincts. I told her I would be around if she needed anything but do not support or respect him or the relationship. She hasn’t responded.

I don’t mean to abandon her and I understand this is how abuse works, but y’all, I am tired. We’re on year 10 years of me being there for her through this kind of stuff so I am worn thin. AITA?

(I officially apologize to the paragraph deities. It’s broken up now.)

Four of us booked a mountain cabin two months ago and split the nonrefundable $1600 cost evenly. On wednesday two of them canceled because of work deadlines and demanded their $800 back so they could pay rent. I refused to cover their half out of pocket, and now they say I am stealing their money

Ever since I can remember, my family has spent Christmas together. However, I now have a husband and a toddler (turning 3 soon). This year, my husband and I decided it’s time to start our own family traditions. We want to spend Christmas Eve just the three of us at home, but we offered to visit my family on the 25th or 26th.

My mother is completely understanding. She actually expected this and did the exact same thing when she was a young mother. Plus, she is in a relationship, so she won't be alone at all.

However, my sister is taking it incredibly hard. She isn't acting out of malice, but she is deeply sad and acting like a stubborn child. She shut down and told my mother that if we are not celebrating together on Christmas Eve, "it won't be Christmas at all" for her this year.

Here is the thing that confuses me the most: My sister herself is newly married. Both she and my mother are in happy relationships, so nobody is being left isolated or alone on Christmas Eve. Yet, my sister is reacting as if I am destroying the entire holiday.

Her reaction is giving me a massive guilt trip. I feel like it's a natural step to build your own traditions with your child, but seeing her so heartbroken makes me second-guess myself.

AITA for sticking to my plan?

I(F) 19 years old, have been practically raised by my stepmother we will call her annalise. Annalise met my dad a long time ago and she was in and out of our lives. She taught me how to walk and took care of me as a baby. i always called her a nickname like my father did, like Anna. I never called her mom and she never expected me to when I was a child. Growing up with her was strange. my father was abusive and she didn’t do anything about it. Ive never blamed her for that, though she sort of was just existing. I don’t remember a lot of Familial moments with her. When I got older, my father died, it was strange especially since I was unsure whether I would have to go back to my mom who I hadn’t seen since I was a baby. She ended up keeping me and taking care of me. I am very grateful for that, but when I say “take care of“ I mean in the most basic ways one can. She clothed me and fed me, and that’s about it. I never felt the bond of a mother from her, and there had always been a clear line in her care of me vs her actual children. For years I tried not to think much of it, I mean I suppose I can understand the bond being different if you’re blood related. But things grew more tense as I got older, she continues to compare me to my father (a alcoholic abuser) and says I’m not doing anything with my life. In the same breath she uses to criticize me, she wonders why im the only one who doesn’t call her mother. Yet when she we are all together, her subtle dislike towards me compared to my siblings (her actual kids) is always so clear. so I’m not sure, AITA for not calling mom?

just to clear some air just in case, I’m currently trying to go to school but can’t for a number of reasons. I did drink when I was living with college friends but have never been a heavy drinker. I’m not a trouble kid, just one trying to figure their life out but I’m pretty poor so it’s taking longer then most.

Hi, I’m in my fall semester of my junior year of college (22F) and it’s also the first semester living with my roommate (also 22F). We sorta knew each other last year and hung out a few times but we both learned we were looking roommates and figured living together would be better than trying to get a random roommate off of Facebook. Everything has been more or less good except for this problem. As some more context, my roommate (let’s just call her Marissa) is a cheerleader at our college. And I’m pretty busy with other clubs and my research lab. This means we don’t typically see each other in the apartment, which is totally fine.

When we first moved in, we set ground rules for having people other, chores, etc. We also set rules about eating each other’s food. While I didn’t care too much about sharing, Marissa seemed to care more, so we decided that we’d largely keep our own supplies of food minus basic cooking ingredients (butter, flour, spices…). We both kept our snacks and other food in their respective places in the common kitchen.

About a month ago, I realized I was going through by snacks a lot faster than I should have, particularly my ice cream. I briefly had the suspicion that Marissa may have been eating some of it, but I had never seen her being ice cream in our apartment or buy any herself, so I figured she didn’t like the stuff. Either way, I’m not a confrontational person so I just moved my snacks and ice cream to my room (I have a mini-fridge and some extra drawers). Despite moving it, it was still depleting very quickly so eventually I just chalked it up to my own snacking habits and tried limiting them a bit and such. The rate slowed and I figured that was the problem.

Well, last night when we were watching a movie together, Marissa, while munching on some popcorn, joking patted her stomach and said something along the lines of “ugh I need to work out more. Weigh ins showed I had gained a few pounds.” I was trying to be supportive to her so I said something back like “oh I’m sure that it’s just water weight or something.” Marissa laughed and made a comment back like “either that or I’m just getting fat off all the ice cream I eat.” Here’s the thing, Marissa has never had her own ice cream tub in the freezer nor do I think she would frequently go out to get ice cream. I didn’t know what to say in response and we just continued watching like normal.

But now I’m seconding guessing all of the “going fast” through my snacks and ice cream. Like I said, I’m not a confrontational person so I’m trying to figure out if I should say something to her. It’s also tricky cause it’s tied to her weight, which could be a touchy subject, and I don’t want to make her upset. Like for all I know, she has her own mini-fridge with loads of ice cream in her room. Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated!!

My wife(35) and I(32) are looking after her friends' son(13) because they are in prison right now(fraud). The kid likes reading but my wife thinks he took too long to finish Heart of Darkness (12 days). She grew up in the US, being a dual citizen, and said she and her friends studied the book. She told me she and her friends finished reading it for the first time much quicker before starting to study and annotate the text. She said we should make him read more for practice. I pointed out that she and her friends speak English as their first language, unlike him, and that expecting him to finish as quickly is just unrealistic. She was upset at the last part.