What are some LGBTQ+ opinions you have that a LOT of people disagree with? I'm not talking about takes like "gay men aren't gay if they have a fictional female crush" or "lesbians aren't lesbians if they have a fictional male crush." That's common sense to me.
I mean ACTUALLY controversial opinions. I have 5, going from least hot to most hot.
- Bisexual people shouldn't constantly use the f-slur to describe themselves. (nor should anyone)
Before anyone misunderstands me, I'm NOT saying bisexual people can't reclaim or use the word. They're part of the LGBTQ+ community, and I'm not going to police what they call themselves.
However, I've met a lot of bisexual people who use that word SO OFTEN that it genuinely starts getting annoying.
As a gay man, I see a significant difference between being bisexual and being exclusively attracted to the same gender. Bisexual people can experience attraction to multiple genders, whereas gay men and lesbians are exclusively attracted to the same gender. Both experiences are valid, but they're different.
My bisexual best friend, for example, experiences changes in which gender she's more attracted to, and honestly, that's really nice for her. Meanwhile, I don't experience attraction to girls, and I can't simply choose to be attracted to them.
I've heard a lot of bisexual people casually call themselves the f-slur, and personally, I don't like how frequently some people use it. I also think constantly using slurs, even when reclaiming them, can make other people more comfortable using them offensively. its also that a lot of people claim they are bi to say such words which annoys me so much and i dont want to tell those people "oh youre not bi" because im not someone who should police who they are, if you are a true bisexual you wouldnt say it every 5 minutes and say that your bi as a excuse
I'm not saying bisexual people can't use the word. I just don't think it needs to be used constantly. If someone occasionally uses it to describe themselves, I genuinely don't care.
- Not liking neopronouns is valid, but HATING them isn't.
Personally, I don't really like neopronouns. I'd rather use they/them when referring to someone who uses them, or avoid pronouns altogether if possible.
I would feel uncomfortable referring to someone as fox/foxself in public, but that doesn't mean I think they're invalid or that I won't respect them.
Pronouns exist to make sentences flow naturally without constantly repeating someone's name. Personally, I feel like noun-based pronouns don't fit that purpose as naturally, which is why I struggle with them.
Pronouns like ze/zer or xe/xer are fine to me, but noun-based ones are where I personally draw the line in terms of what I'm comfortable using.
However, that's MY opinion. There's a difference between not liking certain pronouns and hating the people who use them. You can respect someone without personally understanding or agreeing with everything about their identity.
- Microlabels are fine, but some of them feel unnecessary.
I have nothing against microlabels. I used to identify as a demiboy, and I'm cupioromantic myself, which is a label I find comfortable and useful.
Labels like pansexual, non-binary, demiboy, demigirl, genderfluid, aroace, asexual, aromantic, berrisexual and almondsexual are fine.
However, I think some microlabels describe such specific experiences or preferences that I don't understand why they need an entirely separate label.
A friend of mine who spends A LOT of time on Discord once told me about someone who identified as "opalsexual." Apparently, it meant being both pansexual and bisexual but only experiencing pansexual attraction under certain weather conditions. The person had apparently created the label themselves.
And honestly, my first reaction was just... why?
If a specific label helps you understand yourself, then go ahead and use it! I'm not going to stop you. However, I don't think every tiny difference in someone's experiences needs its own label. Sometimes, it feels like certain microlabels are created more to be unique than because they're actually necessary.
- I REALLY hate those "girls after they find out I'm gay" videos and certain stereotypes in "the gay friend group" videos.
I don't mind all the "gay friend in the friend group" videos as much because some of them are funny, like jokes about how having two bottoms doesn't automatically mean you have a top.
However, there are TWO things about these videos and their stereotypes that genuinely piss me off.
First, I HATE how some of these videos normalize women suddenly being comfortable taking their tops off or changing in front of gay men just because they're gay.
I experienced this myself. The girl I mentioned earlier, who was curious about whether I was gay, once told me, "You should come to the changing room with us. I don't care, you're gay after all."
EXCUSE ME???
I HATE this stereotype that women can suddenly be comfortable being topless around gay men just because they're not attracted to women.
Like, wow, you're comfortable now? WHAT ABOUT ME?
I'm gay, and I'm not attracted to women. The thought of anything sexual happening between me and a woman genuinely makes me extremely uncomfortable. But apparently, because I'm gay, I'm automatically supposed to be comfortable with women changing around me?
NO. I'd genuinely feel uncomfortable and would probably just leave.
If you're going to change, at least tell me beforehand so I can leave if I want to. It's basic respect. I wouldn't want a lesbian watching me change, and I wouldn't want a straight girl watching me change either. It's about privacy and personal boundaries.
BEING GAY DOESN'T MEAN I AUTOMATICALLY HAVE NO BOUNDARIES.
Second, the "girls after they find out I'm gay" videos are something I genuinely dislike.
They're SO unrealistic and generalizing. I know they're supposed to be funny, but they often portray girls as if they automatically start acting differently around gay men just because they're gay.
It makes gay men look like they make their sexuality their entire personality, and it reinforces the stereotype that girls automatically want a gay best friend the moment they find out someone is gay.
- Wanting to be trans JUST so you can be in a gay or lesbian relationship isn't a valid reason to transition.
Before anyone calls me transphobic, PLEASE READ WHAT I'M ACTUALLY SAYING. THIS IS NOT ME SAYING TRANS PEOPLE AREN'T VALID. I support trans people, and I believe every minority deserves respect.
I'm not saying trans men can't date men or that trans women can't date women. If you're a trans man who wants to date men, that's completely fine.
My issue is with people who supposedly want to transition SOLELY because they fetishize a particular type of relationship or want to use a certain label.
I used to have a friend who said she was trans because she really wanted to be in an MLM (men-loving-men) relationship. She fetishized gay male relationships SO MUCH, and it genuinely disgusted me.
She would say things like, "I want to be a boy so I can date men because dating men as a girl is boring. A gay relationship is way more fun."
(btw she said she was trans but would ask us to refer to her as she her, idk how that works but you do you, im gonna use your preffered pronouns cus youre still a person)
And honestly, WHAT?
As a gay man, I find it incredibly uncomfortable when people treat gay relationships as some kind of fantasy or aesthetic rather than actual relationships between people. Gay relationships aren't inherently more exciting just because both people are men. We're real people, not fictional characters in someone else's fantasy.
And before anyone misunderstands me, I'm NOT saying you have to experience gender dysphoria to be trans, and I'm NOT saying I get to decide who's trans and who isn't.
my issue is changing your gender so you get to be in a "Gay relationship" rather then being the gender you want to be
If you're genuinely a trans man and want to date men, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you're questioning your gender, that's completely fine, too.
But if your ONLY reason for wanting to transition is that you fetishize gay relationships and think they're more interesting than straight ones, then I think you should reconsider that reasoning.
Being trans isn't about becoming a certain gender just to access a particular relationship dynamic, and being gay isn't a fantasy for other people to fetishize.
THAT is my argument. I'm criticizing the fetishization of gay relationships, NOT trans people themselves.
Anyway, those are my five opinions, going from least hot to most hot. I'm curious to hear everyone else's controversial LGBTQ+ opinions, especially the ones that a lot of people in the community disagree with.
