Be me (I can’t be the only one who has ever gone through this)
Me 41M (autistic fully employed)
I want to work with my best friend again, in a heartbeat, but his job history is horrendous.
Met him at my first-ever job and worked with him, for 8 years.
Diligent, hard worker, funny, relevant, chronically online (same) can talk/joke about anything, always knows what’s going on etc. During our time someone always had to be in the mailroom, so I opted for that and he ran around the office, mail checks, pickups etc.
Being mailroom workers, we had three in our team for 5 years, then our boss got made redundant and then it was just us, for 3 years after that. I got made redundant in 2018, and got another job 2 weeks later (my current) he unfortunately got fired 3 weeks after I left. During that 3 years we never had roles change, improve or salaries get “boosted” no one was “boss” “manager” it was business as usual just with two instead of three.
His words to explain the firing (they accused me of stealing, I didn’t, the workplace after you left was so toxic, I needed to leave, I saw this as my out, I didn’t fight it, I fell on my sword) he didn’t get a redundancy even.
At my new job, current team is amazing, no vacancies there are 6 of us, we are full. Every time a job comes up it is never for our team, and thankfully it’s accountants or lawyers so never our kind of work.
I would work with him in a heartbeat, but…
In the years since he got let go, he has never held down a job, he bounces around everywhere he goes. Unlike me, I officially got a diagnosis in 2011 shortly before I started work, I believe he is the equivalent of Typhoid Mary, spread it but not actually have it, his two kids are on the spectrum, and his wife doesn’t work, so anytime there is anything wrong at home, and I mean anything, he drops everything and goes home to take care of it, his loyalties and priorities are not turned toward work, instead of work being the priority his mind it’s family, when it comes to work he is Vin Diesel, it’s all about family.
Now on anti-depression meds, and thinner than ever, I want to help him.
The number of times I was left alone because he had to go home is insurmountable.
Commendable? Yes, trustworthy? Yes, dependable? Yes but not for work if there is an emergency at home.
I just don’t know how, hypothetically, if ever a job/position came up, and I was asked to recommend someone in short notice, if I even would, because trying to explain, his track record and the very quick “bouncing around” from job to job doesn’t look good from a hiring standpoint.
I don’t want to lie to him, but I don’t know what I would do/say if ever confronted with that potential scenario.