My brother got married last weekend and I was helping coordinate things at the reception since they didn't hire a wedding planner.

After the ceremony, he and his wife went with the photographer to take pictures at a nearby park. They were supposed to be back by 6:30 for their entrance and dinner at 7.

By 7:15 they still weren't back. The caterer came to me saying the food was ready and they couldn't keep holding everything without ruining it. We tried calling both of them and got nothing.

There were about 90 guests sitting around, including kids and older relatives who'd been there for hours. So I told the caterer to start serving.

They finally showed up around 7:45 and people were already halfway through dinner.

My SIL was furious. Apparently she'd planned their entrance, first dance and a short toast before anyone ate. She said I'd taken away a moment they'd spent months planning.

My brother thinks I made the practical decision but says I should've waited for permission. His wife hasn't spoken to me since.

I understand why she's upset, but was I really supposed to let 90 people sit there with food getting cold?

AITA?

TLDR: The bride and groom were over an hour late getting back from wedding photos. I told the caterer to serve dinner without them and now the bride says I ruined part of her reception.

I (30M) went to a close friend's wedding last weekend. I've known her family for years and always got along pretty well with her dad.

Right after the ceremony, one of her bridesmaids pulled me aside and said the bride wanted me to keep an eye on her dad during the reception. Apparently he has a habit of making inappropriate speeches after a few drinks and she didn't want him embarrassing her.

Nobody mentioned any of this before the wedding.

I figured I'd help for a bit since we're close. But I basically spent the entire dinner keeping him occupied, redirecting conversations and trying to stop him from getting hold of the microphone.

I eventually told the bridesmaid I was done and left before the dancing started.

The next morning my friend texted saying her dad tried to give an unplanned speech after I left and that she was disappointed I couldn't do one small thing for her on her wedding day.

I told her I came as a guest, not somebody hired to manage her father. She said that was a pretty shitty way to describe helping a friend.

AITA?

TLDR: My friend unexpectedly made me responsible for keeping her dad under control at her wedding. I left early and went on a stake sesh after spending most of the reception dealing with him, and she thinks I let her down.

My fiancé and I are getting married soon and I've already decided I'm keeping my last name. We've talked about it before and he never seemed to have an issue with it.

Yesterday he showed me this huge welcome sign he ordered for the wedding. It says "The Johnsons" in big letters. I asked why he used his last name when he knows I'm not changing mine. He said it's just a cute wedding tradition and he thought it would look nice. I told him I'd rather have our first names on it instead. He got annoyed because the sign is already made, and now he thinks I'm making a big deal out of something harmless.

I know it's just a sign, but it feels weird having our wedding decorations announce a last name I'm not actually taking. He's upset because he thought he was doing something sweet, and now I'm wondering if I should've just let it go.

AITA?

My fiancé and I booked our wedding venue almost a year ago. It's a small historic venue that we both loved, and because it's popular, we had to choose a Saturday that was available rather than getting our first choice of date.

We've been planning everything around that date ever since.

About three months ago, my fiancé became obsessed with having our rehearsal dinner at his favorite restaurant. It's a place he's gone to for years, and he says it has sentimental value because his parents used to take him there growing up.

I actually like the restaurant and was happy to have the rehearsal dinner there.

The problem is that they don't have availability on the night before our wedding.

They offered us a date two days earlier instead.

My fiancé now thinks we should move the entire wedding to the following weekend so the rehearsal dinner can happen on the night before.

I told him that's not realistic. We'd have to change the venue, photographer, DJ, hotel blocks, invitations, transportation, and a bunch of other things we've already paid deposits for. Some vendors aren't available on the new date either.

He said we could figure it out and that I'm acting like the wedding date is more important than something that has meaning to him.

I suggested having the rehearsal dinner two nights before the wedding instead, or choosing another restaurant for that one night.

He doesn't like either option because he says the whole point is for his family to gather at that restaurant before we get married.

His parents have also started saying that if we really wanted the restaurant, we should be willing to make the wedding date work around it.

I feel like we're talking about moving an entire wedding for one dinner.

My fiancé says I'm dismissing something that's emotionally important to him and that I should be willing to compromise because it's his wedding too.

AITA for refusing to change our wedding date over the rehearsal dinner?

My husband and I got married six months ago. The wedding was small and pretty simple. We paid for most of it ourselves, with both families contributing a little.

The actual wedding day was great, and I don't have any major complaints about how it went.

The issue started afterward.

My husband has a habit of referring to the wedding as our families' wedding or sometimes specifically my family's wedding when talking about it. At first I didn't think much of it, but I've noticed he does it constantly.

For example, we'll be looking at pictures and he'll say, My family really showed up for my wedding. If someone asks where we got married, he'll say, My parents picked that venue for our wedding. If we're talking about something funny that happened that day, he'll say, That was such a crazy day for my family.

I finally asked him why he talks about it like I was a guest at my own wedding.

He laughed and said I was being overly literal and that obviously it was my wedding too.

I told him that wasn't really the point. It bothers me because I feel like the way he talks about it reflects how he sees the marriage in general like I'm joining his family rather than the two of us creating our own family.

He said I'm reading way too much into harmless wording and that his family contributed a lot, so naturally he talks about their involvement.

I told him I appreciate everything they did, but that doesn't make it their wedding.

Now he thinks I'm picking a stupid fight over something he says casually, while I feel like I'm allowed to be bothered by a pattern that keeps making me feel like an outsider.

AITA for making an issue out of the way my husband talks about our wedding?

My fiancé and I are getting married in a few weeks. We agreed from the beginning that the ceremony would be short and simple because neither of us likes being the center of attention for too long.

One thing I really wanted was for us to read our own vows. Nothing overly dramatic, just a few paragraphs we wrote ourselves. He agreed to it months ago, and I thought that was settled.

Last week, his brother asked him to let their grandfather officiate part of the ceremony. Apparently their grandfather has always wanted to give a speech at one of the grandchildren's weddings, and my fiancé said it would mean a lot to him.

I said I was fine with that, but then my fiancé told me his grandfather wanted to replace our personal vows with a traditional speech and have us repeat vows that he had written himself.

I said no.

My fiancé thinks I'm making this into a bigger deal than it is. He says it's only a few minutes and that we'll still technically be married. I told him I don't want the most personal part of our ceremony to become someone else's performance.

The argument got worse when he said I was being selfish because his grandfather is old and we don't know how many more weddings he'll be around for.

I told him his grandfather can absolutely have a meaningful role in the ceremony, but that doesn't mean he gets to decide what we say to each other.

Now my fiancé says I'm putting my perfect wedding moment above his family, while I feel like he's treating something we agreed on as negotiable because someone else got involved.

AITA for refusing to change our vows this close to the wedding?

My fiancé owns a small woodworking business that he runs on the side. I'm genuinely proud of him and have supported it since he started.

We're getting married in a few months, and we're trying to keep the wedding fairly simple because we're paying for most of it ourselves.

A few weeks ago, he suggested making wooden coasters as our wedding favors. He makes really nice ones, and I thought it was actually a great idea at first.

Then he showed me the design.

Each coaster would have our wedding date on one side, but his business logo, website, and Instagram handle would be engraved on the other.

I told him I didn't want the favors to double as advertisements.

He said it's his business and that guests might genuinely be interested in his work. He also pointed out that making the favors himself would save us quite a bit of money compared with ordering traditional favors.

I said I was fine with him making them, but I didn't want his business information on them. He said that defeats the purpose because he'd be spending hours making something that could also help his business.

I suggested putting just our names and wedding date on them, and he could give people his business card separately if they asked about the coasters.

He thinks I'm being unnecessarily precious about it and says I'm embarrassed by his business.

That's not true. I've actually helped him photograph products and package orders before.

My issue is that I don't want our wedding favors to feel like promotional merchandise. I want people to take one home because it's a keepsake from our wedding, not because they're potentially a customer.

Now he's saying I'm rejecting the one wedding expense he found a way to turn into something practical.

AITA for refusing to have his business logo and contact information on our wedding favors?

My (27F) wedding is in three weeks, and my sister (30F) recently told me she's pregnant. I'm genuinely happy for her, especially because she and her husband have been trying for almost two years.

Yesterday, she called and asked if she could announce her pregnancy during our wedding reception. She said it would be the perfect opportunity because our entire family would already be together.

I told her I'd rather she announce it another day. My fiancé and I have spent almost two years planning this wedding, and we've saved a significant amount of money to make it special.

She got upset and said I was being selfish because a wedding is supposed to celebrate family and love, not just two people.

Then my mom called and suggested we could give my sister five minutes during the speeches to share her news. I refused again.

Now my sister says she won't attend unless I reconsider, and my mom thinks I should compromise to keep the peace.

What makes this worse is that my sister had a very expensive wedding herself, and I remember how upset she got when one of our cousins tried to propose to his girlfriend during her reception.

I brought that up, and she said pregnancy is completely different because it's something the whole family should celebrate.

My fiancé supports my decision, but I hate that something like this is causing drama right before our wedding.

I love my sister, and I don't want her to feel like I'm not excited about her pregnancy. I just don't understand why the announcement has to happen at our wedding.

TL;DR: My pregnant sister wants to announce her pregnancy during my wedding reception. I refused, and now she's threatening not to attend. My mom thinks I'm being selfish for not compromising.

AITA for standing my ground?

My husband and I have been married for almost a year. Our wedding was pretty small because neither of us wanted a huge production, and both families were fine with that at the time. A few months ago, my mother-in-law started talking about our first anniversary. I assumed she meant dinner or something simple, but apparently she had a completely different idea.

She wants to throw a big party and basically recreate our wedding reception. Same venue, similar decorations, photographer, catered dinner, the whole thing. She said it would be a proper celebration because our actual wedding was too small.

The problem is that she has already contacted the venue and photographer and apparently put down deposits. She never asked us.

When I found out, I told her I appreciated the thought but we didn't want another wedding reception. She got really upset and said she had already spent a lot of money and that cancelling would make her look foolish in front of everyone she had invited.

My husband thinks we should just go along with it because his parents are paying and it would make them happy. His argument is that it's one evening and we don't have to pay for anything.

I don't see it that way. I don't want our first anniversary to become another family event where we're basically expected to perform for everyone. I also feel weird celebrating our marriage by pretending we're getting married again.

My MIL now says I'm being ungrateful and that she was only trying to give us the celebration we never got.

I told her that we did get the wedding we wanted, and that if she wanted a party for herself, she should just call it a family party instead of our anniversary.

My husband thinks I was unnecessarily harsh.

AITA?

When my college roommate Jenna asked me to be a bridesmaid last fall, she sent a list of costs with the proposal box. The dress was $165, shoes were our choice, and she said she'd cover hair and makeup as a thank you. I said yes right away.

Three weeks ago she posted in the group chat that the glam team cost more than she expected, so each of us needed to Venmo $180 by Friday. Just the payment link and a heart.

I've already paid for the dress, $60 in alterations, a shower gift and my share of the bachelorette. Another $180 right now means I'm short on my car payment. So I messaged her privately. I said I totally understood that prices changed and asked if I could do my own hair and makeup. I worked at a makeup counter for three years. I offered to send her a practice photo so she could see it would match the look she wants, down to the lip color.

She said it "wouldn't look cohesive" and that everyone else was paying without complaining.

Now another bridesmaid, Tasha, told me Jenna is saying I'm "making things difficult" and might ask me to just come as a guest instead.

I'm not refusing to look nice. I just can't spend money I don't have on something she originally said she'd cover. Was offering to do it myself really that bad?

tl;dr: The bride said she'd pay for bridesmaids' hair and makeup, then asked us each for $180. I can't afford it, so I offered to do my own to match her style and now she's annoyed.

My parents keep saying that family should always be included. but I feel like my wedding should be about celebrating with people I'm actually close to. Is it wrong to want a smaller guest list, even if it upsets some relatives?

My husband and I have been married for almost a year, and we recently started organizing the storage room because we realized we had a lot of things we never actually used. While sorting through everything, he suggested donating some of our wedding gifts. I agreed at first because we had received plenty of duplicate kitchen items and decorations that didn't fit our apartment. Then I found out he had already promised several things to his younger cousin, including a beautiful handmade quilt that one of my aunts spent months making for us. The quilt is honestly one of my favorite gifts. My aunt embroidered our wedding date and initials into it, and she told me she'd made it specifically for us to use in our first home together. My husband says we're not using it, so there's no point keeping it in a cupboard. He thinks his cousin could actually use it, and he doesn't understand why I'm so attached to something we rarely take out. I told him he could donate the unused items we both agreed on, but he shouldn't give away a meaningful gift without discussing it with me first. He said the quilt belongs to both of us, so I don't get to make the decision alone either. He also pointed out that I have several gifts from his family that we barely use. I told him those gifts are still in our home, and I haven't given anything away because I know someone chose them for us. Now he's saying I'm being sentimental about objects and making it difficult to declutter our apartment. I don't want to keep every wedding gift forever, but I also don't think one person's attachment should be dismissed just because the other person doesn't feel the same way.

AITA for refusing to let him give the quilt away?

My husband and I got married eight months ago in a small ceremony because we wanted something private and affordable. Both families attended, and we were happy with how everything turned out.

Last week, my husband's aunt announced that she wanted to organize a family dinner for our anniversary. I thought it would just be a normal dinner, but she recently told me she's planning a full wedding-style event with decorations, speeches, a photographer, and even a recreation of our first dance.

Apparently, several relatives couldn't attend our actual wedding, and she thinks this would give them the experience they missed. My husband thinks it's a sweet idea and says we should go along with it since his family is paying.

The problem is that I deliberately chose a small wedding because I hate being the center of attention. I was already uncomfortable during our actual ceremony, and the thought of repeating everything in front of a bigger crowd makes me anxious.

I offered to attend the dinner and take family pictures, but I don't want to wear my wedding dress again or perform our first dance. His aunt called me ungrateful and said I'm making a simple family gesture unnecessarily difficult.

My husband says I'm turning something meant to celebrate us into a problem. I told him that celebrating our marriage shouldn't mean recreating a day I've already experienced.

AITA for refusing to participate in the wedding style celebration?

Honestly, i'd feel bad saying no too, especially if it was someone close to me, but i'm not going to put myself in debt just to attend a wedding. i have my own bills and responsibilities to worry about. I'd rather be honest about what i can afford than spend money I don't have and stress about it for months afterward.

I’m getting married next month, and I’ve been trying to keep the ceremony simple and personal.

My dad has always assumed he would walk me down the aisle. It was never something we actually discussed, but he’s mentioned it casually for years.

The problem is that my dad and I haven’t been particularly close since I was a teenager. My mom raised me mostly on her own, and during some pretty difficult years, my dad was barely around. We’re on good terms now, but we’re not close enough that having him walk me down the aisle feels meaningful to me.

I recently told him that I want to walk down the aisle alone.

He was really hurt and said he understands that our relationship hasn’t always been perfect, but that he thought this was something we had both been looking forward to.

I told him I don’t want to use my wedding to pretend our relationship is something it isn’t. I’d rather have a quiet moment with him during the reception instead.

He said I’m punishing him for things that happened years ago and embarrassing him in front of our entire family.

My mom actually agrees with me, but some relatives are saying I should just let him have the moment because it would mean so much to him.

I feel guilty because I know this is probably more important to him than I realized, but I also feel like I shouldn’t have to perform a father-daughter relationship just because it’s a traditional wedding moment.

AITA?

My fiancé and I are getting married in a few weeks, and we're doing a traditional guestbook where people can leave handwritten messages for us.

I came up with the idea because I thought it would be nice to read everything together after the wedding. Some of our older relatives aren't very comfortable expressing themselves out loud, and I thought writing a message might mean more to them.

Last weekend, my fiancé suggested that we open the guestbook during our honeymoon and read the messages separately. He said he wanted to surprise me by picking out his favorite messages and reading those to me over dinner.

I told him I'd rather we read the whole thing together for the first time.

He thought I was being unnecessarily strict and said it wasn't a big deal if he looked through it first. I explained that the whole point, for me, was experiencing everyone's messages together, without knowing what was coming.

Then he admitted he'd already asked his best man to keep an eye on the guestbook during the reception so nobody could take it away before he got a chance to look through it.

That bothered me more than I expected. I felt like we'd agreed on something together, and he'd quietly made a separate plan because he didn't like my preference.

He said I was turning a sweet romantic gesture into an argument about control. He also pointed out that it's not as though the messages are private letters addressed only to me.

I agree with that part. They're messages for both of us, and I'm not accusing him of trying to steal anything meaningful from me.

But I still want us to experience that moment together for the first time.

Now he's saying I should let him have his little surprise, especially since he rarely plans romantic things himself.

I don't want to ruin something he genuinely thinks is sweet, but I also don't understand why my preference has to be ignored for his idea to work.

AITA for insisting that we read the guestbook together for the first time?

My fiance and I are getting married in a few months, and we’re doing a pretty small wedding.

There’s one stupid argument that somehow became a serious issue: the wedding cake.

I’ve never liked cake. Neither of us really eats it, so we originally agreed to skip the traditional cake and have a dessert table instead.

My fiances grandmother makes cakes professionally as a hobby, and she offered to make ours as her wedding gift.

I thought that was really sweet and thanked her, but I explained that we still didn’t want a traditional cake-cutting ceremony.

She apparently took that personally.

Now my fiance thinks we should just have the cake because his grandmother is excited to make it. He says we don’t have to actually eat it and that we can still have the dessert table afterward.

I said the whole point was that we didn’t want a cake in the first place, and I don’t want to spend part of our wedding doing a tradition neither of us cares about just because someone else offered to provide it.

My fiance says I’m being unnecessarily stubborn over something that would take five minutes and would make his grandmother incredibly happy.

I offered to let her make a small cake for us to take home after the wedding instead, but apparently that’s not good enough because she wants to see us cut it in front of everyone.

Now my fiancé says I’m turning a kind gesture into an argument.

AITA for refusing to have a wedding cake when it would mean a lot to his grandmother?

Okay this one needs some explaining. My bf and I have rented space in a close friends house(let's call him John) for the past 3 years. We all are basically family.

John had a history of very bad relationship choices, but always dreamed of starting a family one day. Last year he met this woman, I'll call her Sally, from our neighborhood and they have been dating since Christmas.

Initially I was thrilled for him to have a new girlfriend and she seemed pretty nice. Most importantly, she made him happy.

Then things started to feel wrong. Whenever John came back from trips or small outings and I asked how it went he just said "it was nice....." And you could literally feel the unspoken but. Sally kept making remarks, that I still consider pretty entitled. How he wasn't romantic enough on a date because he didn't get her chair in the restaurant. How she only received flowers twice last month, which isn't enough. At a birthday party she proudly told us, that she knows exactly what buttons she has to push to get her way with my friend and every woman should know how to do this. When John's father was hospitalized while my bf and me were on vacation, she watched him call us frantically and eventually drop our dog off at my mum's house. While my mum comforted him, she sat in the passenger seat of the car and started honking cause he took so long.

She proudly claimed that she guilt tripped John's office secretary into working for free on a holiday after being sick for three weeks after an emergency surgery that almost left her blind.

I could name a thousand little things, none of them awful in itself but the sum of it is...unsettling.

Then the two of them thought about moving together this summer. I assumed they would want my bf and me to move out so they could live in John's house (that he was also raised in) and asked if they had already planned any time frames on when they would like to move, so that I knew how much time I had to look at something else. Imagine my confusion when the answer was "no, I'm moving out cause she doesn't like the house, so we're getting something else".

I think this is so dumb, but good for us because we can keep living here. When we talked about what it would cost us to rent the whole house instead of just our rooms, Sally was there making remarks about how she would charge us more.

Then in August big news came in. Sally is now pregnant, due in March. And I have never had so much trouble being happy for a friend. I know John loves her, and I also do believe that in her weird twisted way Sally loves him too. But I really struggled to keep a straight face when they told us. That night, I kept dreaming about how John showed up at our door crying cause she left him with the baby, or because she vanished and he was overwhelmed with the baby.....many scenarios and none were good. Another friend just told us she is due in may and I skipped through the house for almost thirty minutes in pure bliss.

Now they are also getting married in four weeks and I have never forced myself to accept a situation that much. We got three weddings ahead of us this year, two courtroom weddings on short notice and one big one that has been planned for months. And I only look forward to two of them. When our friend said "if you got time, come and congratulate us after the court wedding on day x" I immediately cancelled my plans that day. When I had to get off work for John's wedding I had actually hoped that my boss would object.

John and Sally want a big reception in a year or two. I always make cakes for occasions like this and I dread being asked by Sally. I would love to do it for John but I kind of do not wanna do it for a woman that I cannot stand.

I have no idea what to do about this whole szenario and I feel awful that I cannot simply be happy for a friend who finally gets his dream fulfilled.

My husband and I got married last month. My older brother offered to pay for our photographer as his wedding gift, which was incredibly generous.

We recently got the full gallery back and he asked for the download link so he could send pictures to relatives.

I told him we'd go through everything first and send him all the family pictures. There are around 1,200 photos, including some private moments and pictures of us getting ready that I don't necessarily want everyone seeing.

He got annoyed and said he paid almost $3,000 for the photographer and shouldn't have to wait for us to decide which pictures he's allowed to have.

I reminded him that he offered to pay as a gift, not because we agreed he'd own the photos.

My husband thinks I could've handled it better since my brother has never actually shared anything private about us before.

I trust him, I just think we should be the first ones choosing what gets shared from our own wedding.

TL;DR: My brother paid for our wedding photographer and now wants access to the entire gallery. I offered him the family pictures but refused to share everything before we've reviewed it ourselves.

I’m 28F and getting married in a few months. My fiancé and I have been keeping the wedding pretty simple, and we’re paying for most of it ourselves.

My sister is helping with some of the planning, which I appreciated at first. The problem is that she keeps trying to fix things that we already decided.

The latest issue is the seating plan.

There’s one table where I’ve placed a few relatives who don’t really get along, but they’re adults and I figured they could manage being in the same room for a few hours. My sister thinks this is a terrible idea and wants me to completely rearrange several tables so that certain people can sit together.

I told her I didn’t want to keep changing everything based on who might be uncomfortable sitting near someone else. She said I was being stubborn and that if I cared about my guests having a good time, I’d listen to her.

She eventually said, Fine, but don’t blame me when people leave early.

I told her she’s welcome to give me suggestions, but the final decision is mine because it’s my wedding.

Now she’s upset and says I embarrassed her after she’s spent weeks helping me.

AITA for refusing to change the seating plan?

My fiancé and I are getting married in a few months, and everything has been pretty smooth so far except for one thing: the first dance.

I absolutely hate dancing in front of people. I’m fine dancing at home or at a party with friends, but being the center of attention makes me extremely uncomfortable.

My fiancé knows this. He originally said we didn’t have to do a first dance if I didn’t want to.

A few weeks ago, though, his mom started asking about our song. Apparently she had already been telling relatives about how excited she was to see us have our first dance.

When I reminded my fiancé that we had agreed not to do one, he said he thinks we should just do it for a minute or two. He said it would make his mom happy and that I’m going to regret not having that classic wedding moment.

I suggested we do something else instead, like have everyone join us on the dance floor immediately after dinner.

He said I was being stubborn over something that would literally last 60 seconds.

I told him it’s my wedding too, and I don’t want one of the most photographed moments of the night to be something I’m dreading.

Now he says he understands that I hate dancing, but thinks I should be willing to be uncomfortable for one minute because this is important to his family.

I’m starting to wonder if I’m being unreasonable over something so small.

AITA?

I 24 M was not invited to my friends wedding, which would not be an issue if I wasn't for the fact that everyone else in my friend group has been invited

I wish I was joking but my friend group of fifteen people not including me are all invited and are either in the wedding party or helping with the wedding

I wasn't even aware of the wedding happening until my sister asked me what color shirt I was wearing to said wedding

When I asked her about it she got a little funny with me and said I should talk to the bride

After a conversation with the bride she stated that the venue wasn't big enough and decided to not invite someone at random

I was okay with this as it's not my wedding and really not my business on who is invited or not and just sat on it for a bit

I was a little butthurt given I was the only person who was not invited but once again not my wedding and I'm not going to beg to be invited

However in our group chat later that week the bride was complaining about having to pay for such an expensive venue when there's only going to be be like half the people it can hold

I didn't bring it up to anyone just simply sat on this information until the next group hangout when someone started bringing up wedding plans

I felt very alone being that I was the only person missing out on such a big event in one my of my friends life

It's still not my wedding and I'm not going to rain down on someone's special just because I wasn't invited to a party but I just feel so alone and I'm sad that my friend doesn't seem me close enough to invite me

Ive thought about letting her know my feelings about this but I'm embarrassed to state that I'm upset that I'm not invited to the wedding

I've been avoiding group hangouts since then because Everytime they bring up wedding plans I start feeling left out

More recently the group has noticed my lack of presence in the chat and are wanting to know what's wrong with me but I still don't want to bring it up with the bride

So aita for not wanting to hang out with my friends

Update 1: after reading multiple comments under this I'm going to reach out to one or two people and explain my feelings to them so that at least someone knows what's going on, I'm not gonna bring it up to the bride because she's under enough stress as it it but I'll update again if anything else happens