I was watching K3G and reflecting on how Bollywood movies portrayed the West, particularly with how Anjali’s character despised living in London. I know many Bollywood movies portray many NRIs as patriotic, yet homesick with particular examples in DDLJ, Pardes, or more extreme in Swades (like which rocket scientist at NASA would give up their life to return to their roots?). I know there are even earlier movies like Purab aur Pachim which had the same theme.

Portrayal extending to characters who’ve spent time abroad or second gen characters are portrayed as less cultured for wanting to assimilate in their roots, like Jas in Namaste London or Tina in KKHH needing to sing Om Jai Jagadish to prove her culture. Even Poo’s style in London was attesting to showing too much skin akin to westernization.

I know there were other films that merely used the West as a backdrop to more complex storylines like KANK, We are Family, Kal Ho Na Ho, Neil and Nikky and Salaam Namaste but that too emphasizes that taboo topics like extramarital affairs, suicide, divorce and stepparenting, or premarital pregnancies are NRI issues (my Indian aunt’s words, not mine), emphasizing that we are less cultured.

I found an underlying message that the Western culture capitalism, which many NRIs benefited from was also seen as inferior to Indian culture.

Reflecting as an ABCD, we are often battling two worlds where we never truly belonged in either and I think no culture is necessarily superior, but the immigrant circles i grew up in (recognizing that my parents and grandparents were more progressive than a lot of other immigrant families) really seemed to love both cultures. There was definitely homesickness at times, but not to a point where it was a disdain for the culture they’ve moved to.

With that said I think there are some good films that did portray that cognitive dissonance well. Both Diaspora films. One was The Namesake by Mira Nair and Mitr my Friend.

Another funny one which actually had a Gujarati character embrace the American dream was Kehta Hai Dil Baar Baar and while it flopped, I think it was a fair portrayal of most of our immigrant parents and grandparents.

And other good ones included New York and My Name is Khan that showed Islamophobia of that time.

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This happens usually ever year and its just too much. My parents want to have as much guests as possible and want people to stay overnigh. Usually I take the week off to prepare for the event but unfortunately I wasn't able to this year.

Its in a few days and I am dreading it, I've been busy with my new job so I haven't got much done. I'm being selfish but I don't like having guests over, especially hosting people over night. I will have to give up my room and the aunties like to go through people's drawers and closets. The last times these aunties stayed, they also broke my bedframe by having multiple people jump on it at once.

I'm too tired to clean my drawers and closet so I guess enjoy looking at messy closet and underwear drawer. I will have no privacy for the coming days now. I know its just a weekend, I shouldn't take it too seriously but its so much cleaning and not being able to sleep properly for days and being around people all the time. There won't be any people my age.

How can I maintain my sanity for the coming weekend and not have a mental breakdown? I'm already having a hard time at my new job and having to deal with this as well is overwhelming.

Far right racists have started a new trend here in the UK, where they go up to elderly men or fobs and start accusing em of predatory actions and use it as justification to attack or harass em and this isn't just exclusive to south asian immigrants but middle eastern and african aswell they're only going for the easy targets there's been several cases of this and they often have no context and are applauded and praised by far right accounts and then usually its later revealed they were just miskeen innocents who were seen as an easy target. It's only happening in white cities for now tho not diverse ones. These links are videos of it happening.

https://x.com/VideosIrish/status/2070903708360015945?a=jLYOkociG4q2W6TMiF8&s=19

https://x.com/lil_doza/status/2107506152187556136?a=uDCsVepYh9iITGpn9pQ&s=19

https://x.com/lil_doza/status/2077076014430118210?a=HblCEbUrq8L_dz0Shz8&s=19

https://x.com/lil_doza/status/2076998468996915673?a=POOiCOB_SznklQI6Ekk&s=19

https://x.com/lil_doza/status/2072083913095229941?a=CathDv0EDJQfjcf0M5U&s=19

https://x.com/lil_doza/status/2072011841207722301?a=fc80c3V0MMCNer4RMxw&s=19

https://x.com/gingerrtom/status/2104612165558616281?a=KqHf6rZ31xPEBW3KY48&s=19

https://x.com/gingerrtom/status/2095446030154129522?a=BMjHECgK6RcYdhv2c3E&s=19

I’m thinking as a millennial ABCD who is 2.5 generations here, but generally we grew up with strictish boomer parents who weren’t as connected to their families in the early days due to lack of internet and not having the means to go to India as often. My circle only went back every few years. I also feel enclaves weren’t as defined as they are now and many of our parents tried to have us fit in by doing sports or other activities with mainstream Americans / Canadians / Brits etc.

Now millennial and genZ NRIs have access to internet to stay connected and probably go back more often. Enclaves are more defined too so many (not all) only socialize with other Indians. I see some NRI moms bragging about only packing Indian food in their kids lunch to keep culture. That would’ve been grounds for bullying in my day.

I’m also considering the distinction in Canada where many new NRIs are from rural backgrounds too snd their kids might go to schools in Brampton that can be 80% brown versus the tech workers in the US who could’ve come from cities.

Do you think these new ABCDs would have an upbringing similar to us millenial or genZ ABCDs or will it be different?

hi hi im punjabj :’) my moms birthday is on halloween and every year for a majority of my life we’ve prioritized that, which is completely fair and i tend to not complain about it, but this does prevent me from celebrating halloween with my friends, and as a 22 year old with fomo, im really trying to enjoy it this year because god it’s been so depressing….my parents are extremely strict to the point where its a problem if i wanna be out until 9pm :/ this year im living at home and it’s been fine but its been hella depressing cause of this cause i used to have freedom when i was at my college apartment and now i can’t like step out for an hour without a fight

ANYWAY
the reason this year was gonna work so well was cause my parents were planning to both go to india for a week, meaning id be left to do whatever i please without them knowing and so i started planning cause like, going to india is a big spend and i didn’t expect any plans to change date wise cause its for a wedding

BUT my mom, who’s pretty indecisive and mistrusting of me in particular (i’m the eldest daughter T-T) is considering canceling her flight and staying and i’m like PANICKING cause i made plans to be out late and i was genuinely banking on her being gone :(( but i mean there’s still hope, her flight leaves tomorrow but she’s being soo sketch and not being clear about her intentions

im getting so anxious and nervous about going out on friday (before halloween anyway) and if she stays im still gonna go out, im just ready to get yelled at for daysss and never see the light of day again 🥲🥲🥲 im also just really worried about this whole situation ruining something me and my friends have been looking forward to for months, ik its selfish to want to sneak around and to go out but i just want to get some of these experiences before i have to go through the hell of grad school and marriage and all the scary stuff that’s been planned for me :// do i just f it we ball or do i change plans and try to be back earlier?

Professor Rayaz Malik who has origins in Mirpur, Azad Kashmir spent 25 years developing corneal confocal microscopy, a non-invasive eye imaging technique that detects conditions including dementia, Parkinson's disease, multiple sclerosis and diabetic neuropathy.
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Professor Malik explains how technology works.

I even asked ChatGPT if it true and it’s confirmed to be true. This is not a good look towards Bangladeshis as racism will fuel more and hate towards is going increase.

The latest public opinion poll of Canadians was finally released. All of the data was obtained by the same survey company for the last 5 years. We also know that for the last 5 years, immigration in Canada's popular imagination has meant solely Indians. Despite forming 20-45% of all permit categories, Indians have been brought into discussions in everything from TFW to Student Visas to Permanent Residents.

Anti-immigrant sentiment appeared to peak in 2024, when even many left-wing NDP voters, and center, pro-immigration Liberal voters felt that immigration was too high. While the sentiment remains high among Conservative voters, it does appear to have declined among everyone else.

As someone who has been observing these trends closely, and also been personally affected by the rise in anti-Indian/South Asian discrimination - this is a good sign.

What I don't want us to do is undo the work we've been doing, it feels like there has been more unity, a stronger sense of solidarity, a greater participation in the arts and community development - which I hope we don't abandon.

Halloween is coming up and it’s on a Saturday, I don’t want to be lame and spend it in my room. There are a lot of parties that I want to go to but the only problem is my parents. My parents aren’t super traditional, but they are very strict (more strict than the avg Indian parent), when it comes to me going out. I’m 19 but I have missed out on so much because my parents have kept me so sheltered. They even forced me to stay at home and commute to school because they’re strict. I am on a gap semester rn after a gap year and I’m starting school in January so for now I do still live with them and I’m dependent on them for food and housing. I do work however so I have my own funds and I’m an extremely responsible child. I never acted out growing up, never snuck out, studied hard in high school and got into a good program at a good uni. I am not a bad child and they do not have a reason to distrust me. Also makes no sense because my dad partied very hard when he was young and he lets us know all about it. Despite this they are extremely irrational when it comes to this topic so pls help me on how I can go.

When we are all grouped (by the wider world ) as indians and there is so much infighting, the racism will never come to an end.

This world is out new future and I think we will remain the new punching bag for a very long time if things like this continue

Hey guys, I'm honestly not really sure what to say, but here we go. For some context, I'm a first-gen Indian son who was born and raised in Toronto. My parents came to Canada with pretty much nothing, worked incredibly hard, and managed to give me and my sister a privileged upbringing. I'm genuinely grateful for everything they've done for us, which is part of why this has been so hard for me.

I've always considered myself pretty dumb. I've never been someone who put effort into school, and I feel like that's caught up to me now. I was always a B student, while my sister was the complete opposite and thats pretty much all our family friends kids.

I locked in during Grade 12 and managed to get into engineering at a pretty good university. But I aIways knew I wasn't cut out for it. I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life, and my parents kept bringing up engineering and immediately shot down any other major me like accounting. Fast forward to now, and I'm in my first year of university.It's been brutal. I'll spend an entire week studying for an exam, putting in three times the effort I ever put into high school, only to end up getting a 30 or a 40. It's genuinely demoralizing to work so hard and feel like nothing is paying off.

I've been considering dropping engineering and looking into the trades, maybe becoming an electrician. Theres nothing wrong with the trades. But idk I feel like the only bum Indian, and I wanted to see if anyone can relate.

Lowkey, it's getting out of hand. I have no clue why a bunch of Pakistani dudes I know have jumped on this recent India hating wagon, like they're not brown themselves? I hate how we're turning against each other just to "please" white people. THE BEST PART IS THAT WHITE PEOPLE DON'T CARE WHAT SIDE OF THE BORDER YOU'RE FROM.

This is way more common among FOBs. I've noticed how little they hesitate before spewing hate towards India, or vice versa. I think we've forgotten the hate Muslims got after 9/11 and how easily the tides can shift. I'm not trying to be rude towards FOBs, but God, it pisses me off when they hate on each other for no reason. The most common response I get whenever I bring this up is that I'm too "sheltered" to understand the conflict between India and Pakistan🫩🫩. They act like they were fighting on the front lines themselves.

I understand that back home, hating on the other side is very common and even praised but please don’t pull this shi over here.

This group of Pakistani international students I met started spewing bullshit about Indians within the first 5 minutes. And this isn't a Pakistan only problem. If I had a nickel for every time someone hated on Pakistanis and turned out to be Indian, I'd be rich.

No one's perfect, man, and every country and its people have issues. One border that didn't exist before 1947 doesn't suddenly make you superior. I get that our countries have their differences and aren't on good terms at all, but please learn to tell the difference between the state and its people.

As an ABCD educated in the US, i feel vastly uneducated about the subcontinent. I took some courses in college but still feel as though I lack a larger context.

Are there any podcasts or youtubers ya'll recommend?

I'm specifically asking here because I want to avoid podcasts that have an American/Western bias.

I've noticed a lot of the time the people who are the coldest to newcomers are ABDs. Some fobs definitely do have quirks that deserve criticism but a lot of the times they themselves are blissfully unaware they are doing anything wrong. For example, I've run into many Desi fobs who have BO and I've pulled them to the side and told them to shower regularly, wear deodorant, etc. I'd say in 95% of these interactions they were initially embarrassed but also thanked me for politely educating them. Please put yourself in their shoes. They are coming into a brand new world with brand new norms and customs. It is a very difficult adjustment.

time to return Olivera’s favor

It’s just insane how this thing literally exists for hundreds of millions of people. Recently went on a deep dive watching different documentaries of people who still live under caste law (or whatever they call it); some humans can’t even be touched because of their supposed “caste”. At some level it seems worse than Jim Crow segregation and it’s actively practiced in areas with hundreds of millions of people. Completely insane and frankly disgusting, barbaric and inhumane (and should be viewed as a human rights violation atp).

I know assimilation is a hot topic here but I think any Indian who lives in the west should completely ditch this practice or frankly any religious references to it; wild how people who immigrate still continue this sort of thing. It’s totally incompatible with decency…

What did Ramaswamy do man? /s even John is campaigning against him!